Extreme, unacceptable situation and I can't attend work tomorrow morning





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48
















  • My bride1 is pregnant.

  • She lives 1500 km away from me, in another country, in a low-developed region where public transport is slow.

  • I did not talk with her for 3 days. It was my mistake. She became shocked and now she wants to abort the child.

  • I am currently on a train, traveling to her.

  • Tomorrow morning I am supposed to go to work, as usual. I won't be able to. (It is now Sunday evening there).

  • Very surely, I will be unable to work on both Monday and Tuesday.


I work for a small company in Germany. I've worked here for some years, longer than most employees, but there is no guarantee that I won't lose my job over an unexpected absence like this. The company seems tolerant above the average for such events, but their patience surely has a limit. I feel I am near this limit now.



Being in the IT department, I could work also remotely, even on the train. This is not the custom of the company, and I need a boss to approve that.



How should I maximize my chances not to lose my job and to lose the least possible respect by my bosses?



Would it be better if I explain this situation? This personal problem probably looks quite different through the eyes of my boss.



1A bride is the woman with her you have a plan to marry, but it did not happen until now. After the wedding, she becomes wife. From a legal (incl. work law) view, it is nothing. In the common sense, a pregnant bride is a pregnant woman without a father. Any fair man, if his girlfriend becomes pregnant, marries her ASAP.









share




















  • 88





    "And feel I near this limit now" why do you feel that way? It seems this is a one-time occurrence for you, what else happened that you think they reached a "limit"?

    – nvoigt
    yesterday






  • 4





    (With a reason, communicated properly) Why not showing up at work will cause you lose your job? That's what extreme.

    – Sourav Ghosh
    yesterday








  • 12





    I suspect you aren't using "Bride" quite correctly. "Bride" usually refers to a woman who is currently in the process of getting married. "Wife" is a woman who is married. "Engaged" is someone who is going to get married. "My Wife" refers to someone who is married to you; "My Bride" is someone you are currently getting married to. (the exact period over which you are "getting married" as opposed to "being married" is fuzzy, admittedly)

    – Yakk
    yesterday








  • 14





    @Yakk English is probably not their first language. The substance of the question or answers would not be significantly different if it was correctly "girlfriend," "fiance," "wife," "future mother of my child," or even "side piece."

    – corsiKa
    yesterday






  • 3





    @Yakk I have to disagree with you - Bride is commonly used in the past tense too, to mean the woman that you have already married.

    – Mike Brockington
    10 hours ago


















48
















  • My bride1 is pregnant.

  • She lives 1500 km away from me, in another country, in a low-developed region where public transport is slow.

  • I did not talk with her for 3 days. It was my mistake. She became shocked and now she wants to abort the child.

  • I am currently on a train, traveling to her.

  • Tomorrow morning I am supposed to go to work, as usual. I won't be able to. (It is now Sunday evening there).

  • Very surely, I will be unable to work on both Monday and Tuesday.


I work for a small company in Germany. I've worked here for some years, longer than most employees, but there is no guarantee that I won't lose my job over an unexpected absence like this. The company seems tolerant above the average for such events, but their patience surely has a limit. I feel I am near this limit now.



Being in the IT department, I could work also remotely, even on the train. This is not the custom of the company, and I need a boss to approve that.



How should I maximize my chances not to lose my job and to lose the least possible respect by my bosses?



Would it be better if I explain this situation? This personal problem probably looks quite different through the eyes of my boss.



1A bride is the woman with her you have a plan to marry, but it did not happen until now. After the wedding, she becomes wife. From a legal (incl. work law) view, it is nothing. In the common sense, a pregnant bride is a pregnant woman without a father. Any fair man, if his girlfriend becomes pregnant, marries her ASAP.









share




















  • 88





    "And feel I near this limit now" why do you feel that way? It seems this is a one-time occurrence for you, what else happened that you think they reached a "limit"?

    – nvoigt
    yesterday






  • 4





    (With a reason, communicated properly) Why not showing up at work will cause you lose your job? That's what extreme.

    – Sourav Ghosh
    yesterday








  • 12





    I suspect you aren't using "Bride" quite correctly. "Bride" usually refers to a woman who is currently in the process of getting married. "Wife" is a woman who is married. "Engaged" is someone who is going to get married. "My Wife" refers to someone who is married to you; "My Bride" is someone you are currently getting married to. (the exact period over which you are "getting married" as opposed to "being married" is fuzzy, admittedly)

    – Yakk
    yesterday








  • 14





    @Yakk English is probably not their first language. The substance of the question or answers would not be significantly different if it was correctly "girlfriend," "fiance," "wife," "future mother of my child," or even "side piece."

    – corsiKa
    yesterday






  • 3





    @Yakk I have to disagree with you - Bride is commonly used in the past tense too, to mean the woman that you have already married.

    – Mike Brockington
    10 hours ago














48












48








48


6







  • My bride1 is pregnant.

  • She lives 1500 km away from me, in another country, in a low-developed region where public transport is slow.

  • I did not talk with her for 3 days. It was my mistake. She became shocked and now she wants to abort the child.

  • I am currently on a train, traveling to her.

  • Tomorrow morning I am supposed to go to work, as usual. I won't be able to. (It is now Sunday evening there).

  • Very surely, I will be unable to work on both Monday and Tuesday.


I work for a small company in Germany. I've worked here for some years, longer than most employees, but there is no guarantee that I won't lose my job over an unexpected absence like this. The company seems tolerant above the average for such events, but their patience surely has a limit. I feel I am near this limit now.



Being in the IT department, I could work also remotely, even on the train. This is not the custom of the company, and I need a boss to approve that.



How should I maximize my chances not to lose my job and to lose the least possible respect by my bosses?



Would it be better if I explain this situation? This personal problem probably looks quite different through the eyes of my boss.



1A bride is the woman with her you have a plan to marry, but it did not happen until now. After the wedding, she becomes wife. From a legal (incl. work law) view, it is nothing. In the common sense, a pregnant bride is a pregnant woman without a father. Any fair man, if his girlfriend becomes pregnant, marries her ASAP.









share

















  • My bride1 is pregnant.

  • She lives 1500 km away from me, in another country, in a low-developed region where public transport is slow.

  • I did not talk with her for 3 days. It was my mistake. She became shocked and now she wants to abort the child.

  • I am currently on a train, traveling to her.

  • Tomorrow morning I am supposed to go to work, as usual. I won't be able to. (It is now Sunday evening there).

  • Very surely, I will be unable to work on both Monday and Tuesday.


I work for a small company in Germany. I've worked here for some years, longer than most employees, but there is no guarantee that I won't lose my job over an unexpected absence like this. The company seems tolerant above the average for such events, but their patience surely has a limit. I feel I am near this limit now.



Being in the IT department, I could work also remotely, even on the train. This is not the custom of the company, and I need a boss to approve that.



How should I maximize my chances not to lose my job and to lose the least possible respect by my bosses?



Would it be better if I explain this situation? This personal problem probably looks quite different through the eyes of my boss.



1A bride is the woman with her you have a plan to marry, but it did not happen until now. After the wedding, she becomes wife. From a legal (incl. work law) view, it is nothing. In the common sense, a pregnant bride is a pregnant woman without a father. Any fair man, if his girlfriend becomes pregnant, marries her ASAP.







germany personal-problems





share














share












share



share








edited 4 hours ago







Gray Sheep

















asked 2 days ago









Gray SheepGray Sheep

1,98241427




1,98241427








  • 88





    "And feel I near this limit now" why do you feel that way? It seems this is a one-time occurrence for you, what else happened that you think they reached a "limit"?

    – nvoigt
    yesterday






  • 4





    (With a reason, communicated properly) Why not showing up at work will cause you lose your job? That's what extreme.

    – Sourav Ghosh
    yesterday








  • 12





    I suspect you aren't using "Bride" quite correctly. "Bride" usually refers to a woman who is currently in the process of getting married. "Wife" is a woman who is married. "Engaged" is someone who is going to get married. "My Wife" refers to someone who is married to you; "My Bride" is someone you are currently getting married to. (the exact period over which you are "getting married" as opposed to "being married" is fuzzy, admittedly)

    – Yakk
    yesterday








  • 14





    @Yakk English is probably not their first language. The substance of the question or answers would not be significantly different if it was correctly "girlfriend," "fiance," "wife," "future mother of my child," or even "side piece."

    – corsiKa
    yesterday






  • 3





    @Yakk I have to disagree with you - Bride is commonly used in the past tense too, to mean the woman that you have already married.

    – Mike Brockington
    10 hours ago














  • 88





    "And feel I near this limit now" why do you feel that way? It seems this is a one-time occurrence for you, what else happened that you think they reached a "limit"?

    – nvoigt
    yesterday






  • 4





    (With a reason, communicated properly) Why not showing up at work will cause you lose your job? That's what extreme.

    – Sourav Ghosh
    yesterday








  • 12





    I suspect you aren't using "Bride" quite correctly. "Bride" usually refers to a woman who is currently in the process of getting married. "Wife" is a woman who is married. "Engaged" is someone who is going to get married. "My Wife" refers to someone who is married to you; "My Bride" is someone you are currently getting married to. (the exact period over which you are "getting married" as opposed to "being married" is fuzzy, admittedly)

    – Yakk
    yesterday








  • 14





    @Yakk English is probably not their first language. The substance of the question or answers would not be significantly different if it was correctly "girlfriend," "fiance," "wife," "future mother of my child," or even "side piece."

    – corsiKa
    yesterday






  • 3





    @Yakk I have to disagree with you - Bride is commonly used in the past tense too, to mean the woman that you have already married.

    – Mike Brockington
    10 hours ago








88




88





"And feel I near this limit now" why do you feel that way? It seems this is a one-time occurrence for you, what else happened that you think they reached a "limit"?

– nvoigt
yesterday





"And feel I near this limit now" why do you feel that way? It seems this is a one-time occurrence for you, what else happened that you think they reached a "limit"?

– nvoigt
yesterday




4




4





(With a reason, communicated properly) Why not showing up at work will cause you lose your job? That's what extreme.

– Sourav Ghosh
yesterday







(With a reason, communicated properly) Why not showing up at work will cause you lose your job? That's what extreme.

– Sourav Ghosh
yesterday






12




12





I suspect you aren't using "Bride" quite correctly. "Bride" usually refers to a woman who is currently in the process of getting married. "Wife" is a woman who is married. "Engaged" is someone who is going to get married. "My Wife" refers to someone who is married to you; "My Bride" is someone you are currently getting married to. (the exact period over which you are "getting married" as opposed to "being married" is fuzzy, admittedly)

– Yakk
yesterday







I suspect you aren't using "Bride" quite correctly. "Bride" usually refers to a woman who is currently in the process of getting married. "Wife" is a woman who is married. "Engaged" is someone who is going to get married. "My Wife" refers to someone who is married to you; "My Bride" is someone you are currently getting married to. (the exact period over which you are "getting married" as opposed to "being married" is fuzzy, admittedly)

– Yakk
yesterday






14




14





@Yakk English is probably not their first language. The substance of the question or answers would not be significantly different if it was correctly "girlfriend," "fiance," "wife," "future mother of my child," or even "side piece."

– corsiKa
yesterday





@Yakk English is probably not their first language. The substance of the question or answers would not be significantly different if it was correctly "girlfriend," "fiance," "wife," "future mother of my child," or even "side piece."

– corsiKa
yesterday




3




3





@Yakk I have to disagree with you - Bride is commonly used in the past tense too, to mean the woman that you have already married.

– Mike Brockington
10 hours ago





@Yakk I have to disagree with you - Bride is commonly used in the past tense too, to mean the woman that you have already married.

– Mike Brockington
10 hours ago










6 Answers
6






active

oldest

votes


















213















How to maximize my chance to not lose my job and to lose the least
possible respect by my bosses?




Call as soon as you can get through.



Tell your boss that a family emergency came up and you won't be there Monday or Tuesday.



Good luck.






share|improve this answer



















  • 29





    @GraySheep - when I said "as soon as you can get through", I meant get through to work.

    – Joe Strazzere
    2 days ago






  • 106





    Realistically, it's not going to make much difference to your boss if he finds out late on Sunday evening or early on Monday morning. In his shoes I'd prefer not to have my sleep interrupted though.

    – Matthew Barber
    2 days ago






  • 58





    I think a text message and/or e-mail instead of calling would be better outside of working hours. As long as this doesn’t happen regularly I’d expect most managers to be tolerant and emphatic.

    – Michael
    yesterday






  • 21





    "Außergewöhnliche und unaufschiebbare Familienangelegenheit" for neutral tone that also conveys the seriousness of the situation

    – Magisch
    yesterday






  • 9





    Where is the medical emergency? His wife is pregnant (which in itself is surely no illness).

    – FooTheBar
    yesterday



















57















  • contact your manager/boss by email/text. Tell him that there is a personal situation which requires your presence with your bride


  • call him/her in the morning



Don't be too specific on the details. If you don't ask for such things very often, then I would hope for the best.






share|improve this answer





















  • 5





    I doubt "don't be too specific on the details" is a good recommendation. I would say the opposite: be open about the situation.

    – Tero Lahtinen
    yesterday






  • 86





    The boss will almost certainly ask the question "when will you be back at work." Think about the answer to that before you start the phone call!

    – alephzero
    yesterday






  • 5





    @kapex I see your point, but if the boss is likely not to understand the situation, I think she would also not understand the "Family emergency. Period." -approach any better.

    – Tero Lahtinen
    yesterday






  • 11





    There is definitely a lot of options between giving the boss every detail and "Family emergency. Period." Something like "I had a family emergency come up with my fiance so I will be out of the office until at least Wednesday and possibly not until Friday", which give a little more detail, is much more personable, but doesn't go into the fine details of what is going on for the OP

    – Kevin Wells
    yesterday






  • 2





    In addition to @alphazero: Think about the answer before you start the phone call AND provide a realistic prognosis. Dont call on Monday to say you will be there on Wednesday, than call Tuesday night to say you will be there on Thursday, and so on...

    – Ivana
    15 hours ago





















22














The answers so far address the personal angle. Definitely call and explain (leaving out whatever personal details you wish).



From a legal perspective, google "Abwesenheit aus wichtigem persönlichen Grund" or similar phrases. Sadly, I'm in Austria right now and Google forces links related to Austrian law on me, but I remember from my time in Germany that this exists in German employee law as well.



IANAL but I have legal training and from my experience you should be legally in the clear. Another common use for this rule is people staying at home if their child is sick and the other parent can't take care of it (e.g. both parents are working).



Definitely do not falsely claim that you are sick. That would be grounds for an immediate termination if your lie is uncovered.






share|improve this answer
























  • Did you try adding "Germany" (or rather, "Deutschland") to your search?

    – jpmc26
    5 hours ago



















16














I live and work in Germany, and have been both boss and employee.



I would say that the best way to proceed depends on your boss. Every country is like this, but there is certainly still some xenophobia in Germany.



If your boss is friendly towards foreigners, then I would give him full disclosure. Tell him exactly what is going on.



If your boss is generally somebody that looks down on foreigners, then I would give him/her as little information as possible. Giving him information, such as the fact that you have a bride in another country will just fuel his/her fire, and give him more reason to dislike the situation. In this case, just say that you have an extremely important life or death family matter that must be dealt with immediately. In this case, we mean life or death of the baby, but do not tell the boss that. If he presses for details, I would just say that, "I would prefer not to discuss it." No respectable person would press you for more details. If he forces you to give a valid excuse, then I would tell him that you would be glad to talk to HR about the situation. I can't see how a boss needs to know about your personal situation.






share|improve this answer





















  • 14





    Not sure this is relevant. Wife is living 1500km away, but that doesn't necessarily imply that OP is not German. In any case, he didn't mention any concern about possible xenophobia from his boss.

    – dim
    yesterday






  • 4





    You are right. I just assumed this to be the case.

    – bremen_matt
    yesterday






  • 3





    In any case, his hesitance toward just telling his boss seems to imply to me that he thinks that his boss will not take this well

    – bremen_matt
    yesterday






  • 6





    Then, again: the employee might still have Ukrain roots, be a russion speaker or whatever. German xenophobs recently came up with the word Passdeutscher meaning soemone is german because their passport says so, Not because of their bloodline/origin.

    – Bernhard Döbler
    yesterday






  • 1





    @dim He's "from a small Middle European country, not far away from Transsylvania", so most likely not German.

    – Martin Schröder
    yesterday



















4














Already a bit late, but at the companies where I have worked this would be handled by calling the immediate superior and asking for a day off or two (Gleitzeit/Urlaub) because of a family emergency. HR and higher management would not even know that something unusual happened. However, if your company is very small, things might work differently.



Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor. But I would not recommend that in this case, as employers take that very seriously and some coworkers do not really like that either.



Even if your employer thinks that "troublesome girlfriend" is not a valid excuse for missing work, you might still just get a Abmahnung (kind of a last warning) instead of firing you. But that obviously depends a lot on your boss.



P.S. a short google search suggests that an Abmahnung is indeed mandatory before firing someone for missing work. I any case, I would still strongly suggest to try to solve this without getting an Abmahnung.






share|improve this answer


























  • Note that the three sick days count calendar days, so that only allows him Monday.

    – Martin Schröder
    yesterday






  • 1





    No. Three calendar days means that if he gets sick on Friday, he has to see the doctor on Monday. If he gets sick on Monday, he has to see the doctor on Thursday. But as said, this is not what I would recommend anyway.

    – Jan
    yesterday






  • 2





    "Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor." Faking an illness can be grounds for immediate termination (Fristlose Kuendigung), so yeah that sounds like a less than brilliant plan indeed.

    – Voo
    yesterday













  • @Voo OP's situation causes a lot of tension and stress on him, which could/does affect his ability to work. I'd say that qualifies for a sick leave for psychological reasons. And I know there are general practitioners in Germany that certify the incapacity for work.

    – Arsak
    17 hours ago











  • I would still be careful with this. I personally would do this only if a) I am convinced I am unfit for work, b) I am convinced I can convince my boss I am unfit for work, or c) the choice is between potential termination if I get caught and certain termination if I have no excuse for not showing up to work (e.g. after a prior formal warning). I am not sure any of these apply here, thus "not recommended".

    – Jan
    16 hours ago



















0














Putting some existing answers together in a more verbatim manner.




"Dear [Bossname],



Due to an unfortunate family event, involving my pregnant fiancée
living in [Neverneverland], I will be unable to be at [Workplace City]
in person this [Monsday].



Currently, I am on my way to [Neverneverland]. I will be able to work
remotely for [Doomsday] and [Damsday]. As for the time since
[Thenday], I am not sure if I will be able to work. I will keep you
informed. Please count these days as my payed leave, if it will not
work out. I plan to be back by [Monsday next week], but cannot say for
sure at the moment.



I apologise deeply for this sudden and unexpected leave, but the
situation is urgent. I will be available per phone and email today and
on [Doomsday]. From [Damsday] onward I am in [Neverneverland] and
would be available per email and [Telegraph] chat only. I apologise
again for the inconvenience.



Best regards,



John Doe"






On a separate notice I wish OP good luck and an understanding from his employer.






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    6 Answers
    6






    active

    oldest

    votes








    6 Answers
    6






    active

    oldest

    votes









    active

    oldest

    votes






    active

    oldest

    votes









    213















    How to maximize my chance to not lose my job and to lose the least
    possible respect by my bosses?




    Call as soon as you can get through.



    Tell your boss that a family emergency came up and you won't be there Monday or Tuesday.



    Good luck.






    share|improve this answer



















    • 29





      @GraySheep - when I said "as soon as you can get through", I meant get through to work.

      – Joe Strazzere
      2 days ago






    • 106





      Realistically, it's not going to make much difference to your boss if he finds out late on Sunday evening or early on Monday morning. In his shoes I'd prefer not to have my sleep interrupted though.

      – Matthew Barber
      2 days ago






    • 58





      I think a text message and/or e-mail instead of calling would be better outside of working hours. As long as this doesn’t happen regularly I’d expect most managers to be tolerant and emphatic.

      – Michael
      yesterday






    • 21





      "Außergewöhnliche und unaufschiebbare Familienangelegenheit" for neutral tone that also conveys the seriousness of the situation

      – Magisch
      yesterday






    • 9





      Where is the medical emergency? His wife is pregnant (which in itself is surely no illness).

      – FooTheBar
      yesterday
















    213















    How to maximize my chance to not lose my job and to lose the least
    possible respect by my bosses?




    Call as soon as you can get through.



    Tell your boss that a family emergency came up and you won't be there Monday or Tuesday.



    Good luck.






    share|improve this answer



















    • 29





      @GraySheep - when I said "as soon as you can get through", I meant get through to work.

      – Joe Strazzere
      2 days ago






    • 106





      Realistically, it's not going to make much difference to your boss if he finds out late on Sunday evening or early on Monday morning. In his shoes I'd prefer not to have my sleep interrupted though.

      – Matthew Barber
      2 days ago






    • 58





      I think a text message and/or e-mail instead of calling would be better outside of working hours. As long as this doesn’t happen regularly I’d expect most managers to be tolerant and emphatic.

      – Michael
      yesterday






    • 21





      "Außergewöhnliche und unaufschiebbare Familienangelegenheit" for neutral tone that also conveys the seriousness of the situation

      – Magisch
      yesterday






    • 9





      Where is the medical emergency? His wife is pregnant (which in itself is surely no illness).

      – FooTheBar
      yesterday














    213












    213








    213








    How to maximize my chance to not lose my job and to lose the least
    possible respect by my bosses?




    Call as soon as you can get through.



    Tell your boss that a family emergency came up and you won't be there Monday or Tuesday.



    Good luck.






    share|improve this answer














    How to maximize my chance to not lose my job and to lose the least
    possible respect by my bosses?




    Call as soon as you can get through.



    Tell your boss that a family emergency came up and you won't be there Monday or Tuesday.



    Good luck.







    share|improve this answer












    share|improve this answer



    share|improve this answer










    answered 2 days ago









    Joe StrazzereJoe Strazzere

    255k1317391050




    255k1317391050








    • 29





      @GraySheep - when I said "as soon as you can get through", I meant get through to work.

      – Joe Strazzere
      2 days ago






    • 106





      Realistically, it's not going to make much difference to your boss if he finds out late on Sunday evening or early on Monday morning. In his shoes I'd prefer not to have my sleep interrupted though.

      – Matthew Barber
      2 days ago






    • 58





      I think a text message and/or e-mail instead of calling would be better outside of working hours. As long as this doesn’t happen regularly I’d expect most managers to be tolerant and emphatic.

      – Michael
      yesterday






    • 21





      "Außergewöhnliche und unaufschiebbare Familienangelegenheit" for neutral tone that also conveys the seriousness of the situation

      – Magisch
      yesterday






    • 9





      Where is the medical emergency? His wife is pregnant (which in itself is surely no illness).

      – FooTheBar
      yesterday














    • 29





      @GraySheep - when I said "as soon as you can get through", I meant get through to work.

      – Joe Strazzere
      2 days ago






    • 106





      Realistically, it's not going to make much difference to your boss if he finds out late on Sunday evening or early on Monday morning. In his shoes I'd prefer not to have my sleep interrupted though.

      – Matthew Barber
      2 days ago






    • 58





      I think a text message and/or e-mail instead of calling would be better outside of working hours. As long as this doesn’t happen regularly I’d expect most managers to be tolerant and emphatic.

      – Michael
      yesterday






    • 21





      "Außergewöhnliche und unaufschiebbare Familienangelegenheit" for neutral tone that also conveys the seriousness of the situation

      – Magisch
      yesterday






    • 9





      Where is the medical emergency? His wife is pregnant (which in itself is surely no illness).

      – FooTheBar
      yesterday








    29




    29





    @GraySheep - when I said "as soon as you can get through", I meant get through to work.

    – Joe Strazzere
    2 days ago





    @GraySheep - when I said "as soon as you can get through", I meant get through to work.

    – Joe Strazzere
    2 days ago




    106




    106





    Realistically, it's not going to make much difference to your boss if he finds out late on Sunday evening or early on Monday morning. In his shoes I'd prefer not to have my sleep interrupted though.

    – Matthew Barber
    2 days ago





    Realistically, it's not going to make much difference to your boss if he finds out late on Sunday evening or early on Monday morning. In his shoes I'd prefer not to have my sleep interrupted though.

    – Matthew Barber
    2 days ago




    58




    58





    I think a text message and/or e-mail instead of calling would be better outside of working hours. As long as this doesn’t happen regularly I’d expect most managers to be tolerant and emphatic.

    – Michael
    yesterday





    I think a text message and/or e-mail instead of calling would be better outside of working hours. As long as this doesn’t happen regularly I’d expect most managers to be tolerant and emphatic.

    – Michael
    yesterday




    21




    21





    "Außergewöhnliche und unaufschiebbare Familienangelegenheit" for neutral tone that also conveys the seriousness of the situation

    – Magisch
    yesterday





    "Außergewöhnliche und unaufschiebbare Familienangelegenheit" for neutral tone that also conveys the seriousness of the situation

    – Magisch
    yesterday




    9




    9





    Where is the medical emergency? His wife is pregnant (which in itself is surely no illness).

    – FooTheBar
    yesterday





    Where is the medical emergency? His wife is pregnant (which in itself is surely no illness).

    – FooTheBar
    yesterday













    57















    • contact your manager/boss by email/text. Tell him that there is a personal situation which requires your presence with your bride


    • call him/her in the morning



    Don't be too specific on the details. If you don't ask for such things very often, then I would hope for the best.






    share|improve this answer





















    • 5





      I doubt "don't be too specific on the details" is a good recommendation. I would say the opposite: be open about the situation.

      – Tero Lahtinen
      yesterday






    • 86





      The boss will almost certainly ask the question "when will you be back at work." Think about the answer to that before you start the phone call!

      – alephzero
      yesterday






    • 5





      @kapex I see your point, but if the boss is likely not to understand the situation, I think she would also not understand the "Family emergency. Period." -approach any better.

      – Tero Lahtinen
      yesterday






    • 11





      There is definitely a lot of options between giving the boss every detail and "Family emergency. Period." Something like "I had a family emergency come up with my fiance so I will be out of the office until at least Wednesday and possibly not until Friday", which give a little more detail, is much more personable, but doesn't go into the fine details of what is going on for the OP

      – Kevin Wells
      yesterday






    • 2





      In addition to @alphazero: Think about the answer before you start the phone call AND provide a realistic prognosis. Dont call on Monday to say you will be there on Wednesday, than call Tuesday night to say you will be there on Thursday, and so on...

      – Ivana
      15 hours ago


















    57















    • contact your manager/boss by email/text. Tell him that there is a personal situation which requires your presence with your bride


    • call him/her in the morning



    Don't be too specific on the details. If you don't ask for such things very often, then I would hope for the best.






    share|improve this answer





















    • 5





      I doubt "don't be too specific on the details" is a good recommendation. I would say the opposite: be open about the situation.

      – Tero Lahtinen
      yesterday






    • 86





      The boss will almost certainly ask the question "when will you be back at work." Think about the answer to that before you start the phone call!

      – alephzero
      yesterday






    • 5





      @kapex I see your point, but if the boss is likely not to understand the situation, I think she would also not understand the "Family emergency. Period." -approach any better.

      – Tero Lahtinen
      yesterday






    • 11





      There is definitely a lot of options between giving the boss every detail and "Family emergency. Period." Something like "I had a family emergency come up with my fiance so I will be out of the office until at least Wednesday and possibly not until Friday", which give a little more detail, is much more personable, but doesn't go into the fine details of what is going on for the OP

      – Kevin Wells
      yesterday






    • 2





      In addition to @alphazero: Think about the answer before you start the phone call AND provide a realistic prognosis. Dont call on Monday to say you will be there on Wednesday, than call Tuesday night to say you will be there on Thursday, and so on...

      – Ivana
      15 hours ago
















    57












    57








    57








    • contact your manager/boss by email/text. Tell him that there is a personal situation which requires your presence with your bride


    • call him/her in the morning



    Don't be too specific on the details. If you don't ask for such things very often, then I would hope for the best.






    share|improve this answer
















    • contact your manager/boss by email/text. Tell him that there is a personal situation which requires your presence with your bride


    • call him/her in the morning



    Don't be too specific on the details. If you don't ask for such things very often, then I would hope for the best.







    share|improve this answer














    share|improve this answer



    share|improve this answer








    edited yesterday









    user87779

    10525




    10525










    answered 2 days ago









    SaschaSascha

    8,57721739




    8,57721739








    • 5





      I doubt "don't be too specific on the details" is a good recommendation. I would say the opposite: be open about the situation.

      – Tero Lahtinen
      yesterday






    • 86





      The boss will almost certainly ask the question "when will you be back at work." Think about the answer to that before you start the phone call!

      – alephzero
      yesterday






    • 5





      @kapex I see your point, but if the boss is likely not to understand the situation, I think she would also not understand the "Family emergency. Period." -approach any better.

      – Tero Lahtinen
      yesterday






    • 11





      There is definitely a lot of options between giving the boss every detail and "Family emergency. Period." Something like "I had a family emergency come up with my fiance so I will be out of the office until at least Wednesday and possibly not until Friday", which give a little more detail, is much more personable, but doesn't go into the fine details of what is going on for the OP

      – Kevin Wells
      yesterday






    • 2





      In addition to @alphazero: Think about the answer before you start the phone call AND provide a realistic prognosis. Dont call on Monday to say you will be there on Wednesday, than call Tuesday night to say you will be there on Thursday, and so on...

      – Ivana
      15 hours ago
















    • 5





      I doubt "don't be too specific on the details" is a good recommendation. I would say the opposite: be open about the situation.

      – Tero Lahtinen
      yesterday






    • 86





      The boss will almost certainly ask the question "when will you be back at work." Think about the answer to that before you start the phone call!

      – alephzero
      yesterday






    • 5





      @kapex I see your point, but if the boss is likely not to understand the situation, I think she would also not understand the "Family emergency. Period." -approach any better.

      – Tero Lahtinen
      yesterday






    • 11





      There is definitely a lot of options between giving the boss every detail and "Family emergency. Period." Something like "I had a family emergency come up with my fiance so I will be out of the office until at least Wednesday and possibly not until Friday", which give a little more detail, is much more personable, but doesn't go into the fine details of what is going on for the OP

      – Kevin Wells
      yesterday






    • 2





      In addition to @alphazero: Think about the answer before you start the phone call AND provide a realistic prognosis. Dont call on Monday to say you will be there on Wednesday, than call Tuesday night to say you will be there on Thursday, and so on...

      – Ivana
      15 hours ago










    5




    5





    I doubt "don't be too specific on the details" is a good recommendation. I would say the opposite: be open about the situation.

    – Tero Lahtinen
    yesterday





    I doubt "don't be too specific on the details" is a good recommendation. I would say the opposite: be open about the situation.

    – Tero Lahtinen
    yesterday




    86




    86





    The boss will almost certainly ask the question "when will you be back at work." Think about the answer to that before you start the phone call!

    – alephzero
    yesterday





    The boss will almost certainly ask the question "when will you be back at work." Think about the answer to that before you start the phone call!

    – alephzero
    yesterday




    5




    5





    @kapex I see your point, but if the boss is likely not to understand the situation, I think she would also not understand the "Family emergency. Period." -approach any better.

    – Tero Lahtinen
    yesterday





    @kapex I see your point, but if the boss is likely not to understand the situation, I think she would also not understand the "Family emergency. Period." -approach any better.

    – Tero Lahtinen
    yesterday




    11




    11





    There is definitely a lot of options between giving the boss every detail and "Family emergency. Period." Something like "I had a family emergency come up with my fiance so I will be out of the office until at least Wednesday and possibly not until Friday", which give a little more detail, is much more personable, but doesn't go into the fine details of what is going on for the OP

    – Kevin Wells
    yesterday





    There is definitely a lot of options between giving the boss every detail and "Family emergency. Period." Something like "I had a family emergency come up with my fiance so I will be out of the office until at least Wednesday and possibly not until Friday", which give a little more detail, is much more personable, but doesn't go into the fine details of what is going on for the OP

    – Kevin Wells
    yesterday




    2




    2





    In addition to @alphazero: Think about the answer before you start the phone call AND provide a realistic prognosis. Dont call on Monday to say you will be there on Wednesday, than call Tuesday night to say you will be there on Thursday, and so on...

    – Ivana
    15 hours ago







    In addition to @alphazero: Think about the answer before you start the phone call AND provide a realistic prognosis. Dont call on Monday to say you will be there on Wednesday, than call Tuesday night to say you will be there on Thursday, and so on...

    – Ivana
    15 hours ago













    22














    The answers so far address the personal angle. Definitely call and explain (leaving out whatever personal details you wish).



    From a legal perspective, google "Abwesenheit aus wichtigem persönlichen Grund" or similar phrases. Sadly, I'm in Austria right now and Google forces links related to Austrian law on me, but I remember from my time in Germany that this exists in German employee law as well.



    IANAL but I have legal training and from my experience you should be legally in the clear. Another common use for this rule is people staying at home if their child is sick and the other parent can't take care of it (e.g. both parents are working).



    Definitely do not falsely claim that you are sick. That would be grounds for an immediate termination if your lie is uncovered.






    share|improve this answer
























    • Did you try adding "Germany" (or rather, "Deutschland") to your search?

      – jpmc26
      5 hours ago
















    22














    The answers so far address the personal angle. Definitely call and explain (leaving out whatever personal details you wish).



    From a legal perspective, google "Abwesenheit aus wichtigem persönlichen Grund" or similar phrases. Sadly, I'm in Austria right now and Google forces links related to Austrian law on me, but I remember from my time in Germany that this exists in German employee law as well.



    IANAL but I have legal training and from my experience you should be legally in the clear. Another common use for this rule is people staying at home if their child is sick and the other parent can't take care of it (e.g. both parents are working).



    Definitely do not falsely claim that you are sick. That would be grounds for an immediate termination if your lie is uncovered.






    share|improve this answer
























    • Did you try adding "Germany" (or rather, "Deutschland") to your search?

      – jpmc26
      5 hours ago














    22












    22








    22







    The answers so far address the personal angle. Definitely call and explain (leaving out whatever personal details you wish).



    From a legal perspective, google "Abwesenheit aus wichtigem persönlichen Grund" or similar phrases. Sadly, I'm in Austria right now and Google forces links related to Austrian law on me, but I remember from my time in Germany that this exists in German employee law as well.



    IANAL but I have legal training and from my experience you should be legally in the clear. Another common use for this rule is people staying at home if their child is sick and the other parent can't take care of it (e.g. both parents are working).



    Definitely do not falsely claim that you are sick. That would be grounds for an immediate termination if your lie is uncovered.






    share|improve this answer













    The answers so far address the personal angle. Definitely call and explain (leaving out whatever personal details you wish).



    From a legal perspective, google "Abwesenheit aus wichtigem persönlichen Grund" or similar phrases. Sadly, I'm in Austria right now and Google forces links related to Austrian law on me, but I remember from my time in Germany that this exists in German employee law as well.



    IANAL but I have legal training and from my experience you should be legally in the clear. Another common use for this rule is people staying at home if their child is sick and the other parent can't take care of it (e.g. both parents are working).



    Definitely do not falsely claim that you are sick. That would be grounds for an immediate termination if your lie is uncovered.







    share|improve this answer












    share|improve this answer



    share|improve this answer










    answered yesterday









    TomTom

    5,6461423




    5,6461423













    • Did you try adding "Germany" (or rather, "Deutschland") to your search?

      – jpmc26
      5 hours ago



















    • Did you try adding "Germany" (or rather, "Deutschland") to your search?

      – jpmc26
      5 hours ago

















    Did you try adding "Germany" (or rather, "Deutschland") to your search?

    – jpmc26
    5 hours ago





    Did you try adding "Germany" (or rather, "Deutschland") to your search?

    – jpmc26
    5 hours ago











    16














    I live and work in Germany, and have been both boss and employee.



    I would say that the best way to proceed depends on your boss. Every country is like this, but there is certainly still some xenophobia in Germany.



    If your boss is friendly towards foreigners, then I would give him full disclosure. Tell him exactly what is going on.



    If your boss is generally somebody that looks down on foreigners, then I would give him/her as little information as possible. Giving him information, such as the fact that you have a bride in another country will just fuel his/her fire, and give him more reason to dislike the situation. In this case, just say that you have an extremely important life or death family matter that must be dealt with immediately. In this case, we mean life or death of the baby, but do not tell the boss that. If he presses for details, I would just say that, "I would prefer not to discuss it." No respectable person would press you for more details. If he forces you to give a valid excuse, then I would tell him that you would be glad to talk to HR about the situation. I can't see how a boss needs to know about your personal situation.






    share|improve this answer





















    • 14





      Not sure this is relevant. Wife is living 1500km away, but that doesn't necessarily imply that OP is not German. In any case, he didn't mention any concern about possible xenophobia from his boss.

      – dim
      yesterday






    • 4





      You are right. I just assumed this to be the case.

      – bremen_matt
      yesterday






    • 3





      In any case, his hesitance toward just telling his boss seems to imply to me that he thinks that his boss will not take this well

      – bremen_matt
      yesterday






    • 6





      Then, again: the employee might still have Ukrain roots, be a russion speaker or whatever. German xenophobs recently came up with the word Passdeutscher meaning soemone is german because their passport says so, Not because of their bloodline/origin.

      – Bernhard Döbler
      yesterday






    • 1





      @dim He's "from a small Middle European country, not far away from Transsylvania", so most likely not German.

      – Martin Schröder
      yesterday
















    16














    I live and work in Germany, and have been both boss and employee.



    I would say that the best way to proceed depends on your boss. Every country is like this, but there is certainly still some xenophobia in Germany.



    If your boss is friendly towards foreigners, then I would give him full disclosure. Tell him exactly what is going on.



    If your boss is generally somebody that looks down on foreigners, then I would give him/her as little information as possible. Giving him information, such as the fact that you have a bride in another country will just fuel his/her fire, and give him more reason to dislike the situation. In this case, just say that you have an extremely important life or death family matter that must be dealt with immediately. In this case, we mean life or death of the baby, but do not tell the boss that. If he presses for details, I would just say that, "I would prefer not to discuss it." No respectable person would press you for more details. If he forces you to give a valid excuse, then I would tell him that you would be glad to talk to HR about the situation. I can't see how a boss needs to know about your personal situation.






    share|improve this answer





















    • 14





      Not sure this is relevant. Wife is living 1500km away, but that doesn't necessarily imply that OP is not German. In any case, he didn't mention any concern about possible xenophobia from his boss.

      – dim
      yesterday






    • 4





      You are right. I just assumed this to be the case.

      – bremen_matt
      yesterday






    • 3





      In any case, his hesitance toward just telling his boss seems to imply to me that he thinks that his boss will not take this well

      – bremen_matt
      yesterday






    • 6





      Then, again: the employee might still have Ukrain roots, be a russion speaker or whatever. German xenophobs recently came up with the word Passdeutscher meaning soemone is german because their passport says so, Not because of their bloodline/origin.

      – Bernhard Döbler
      yesterday






    • 1





      @dim He's "from a small Middle European country, not far away from Transsylvania", so most likely not German.

      – Martin Schröder
      yesterday














    16












    16








    16







    I live and work in Germany, and have been both boss and employee.



    I would say that the best way to proceed depends on your boss. Every country is like this, but there is certainly still some xenophobia in Germany.



    If your boss is friendly towards foreigners, then I would give him full disclosure. Tell him exactly what is going on.



    If your boss is generally somebody that looks down on foreigners, then I would give him/her as little information as possible. Giving him information, such as the fact that you have a bride in another country will just fuel his/her fire, and give him more reason to dislike the situation. In this case, just say that you have an extremely important life or death family matter that must be dealt with immediately. In this case, we mean life or death of the baby, but do not tell the boss that. If he presses for details, I would just say that, "I would prefer not to discuss it." No respectable person would press you for more details. If he forces you to give a valid excuse, then I would tell him that you would be glad to talk to HR about the situation. I can't see how a boss needs to know about your personal situation.






    share|improve this answer















    I live and work in Germany, and have been both boss and employee.



    I would say that the best way to proceed depends on your boss. Every country is like this, but there is certainly still some xenophobia in Germany.



    If your boss is friendly towards foreigners, then I would give him full disclosure. Tell him exactly what is going on.



    If your boss is generally somebody that looks down on foreigners, then I would give him/her as little information as possible. Giving him information, such as the fact that you have a bride in another country will just fuel his/her fire, and give him more reason to dislike the situation. In this case, just say that you have an extremely important life or death family matter that must be dealt with immediately. In this case, we mean life or death of the baby, but do not tell the boss that. If he presses for details, I would just say that, "I would prefer not to discuss it." No respectable person would press you for more details. If he forces you to give a valid excuse, then I would tell him that you would be glad to talk to HR about the situation. I can't see how a boss needs to know about your personal situation.







    share|improve this answer














    share|improve this answer



    share|improve this answer








    edited yesterday

























    answered yesterday









    bremen_mattbremen_matt

    30515




    30515








    • 14





      Not sure this is relevant. Wife is living 1500km away, but that doesn't necessarily imply that OP is not German. In any case, he didn't mention any concern about possible xenophobia from his boss.

      – dim
      yesterday






    • 4





      You are right. I just assumed this to be the case.

      – bremen_matt
      yesterday






    • 3





      In any case, his hesitance toward just telling his boss seems to imply to me that he thinks that his boss will not take this well

      – bremen_matt
      yesterday






    • 6





      Then, again: the employee might still have Ukrain roots, be a russion speaker or whatever. German xenophobs recently came up with the word Passdeutscher meaning soemone is german because their passport says so, Not because of their bloodline/origin.

      – Bernhard Döbler
      yesterday






    • 1





      @dim He's "from a small Middle European country, not far away from Transsylvania", so most likely not German.

      – Martin Schröder
      yesterday














    • 14





      Not sure this is relevant. Wife is living 1500km away, but that doesn't necessarily imply that OP is not German. In any case, he didn't mention any concern about possible xenophobia from his boss.

      – dim
      yesterday






    • 4





      You are right. I just assumed this to be the case.

      – bremen_matt
      yesterday






    • 3





      In any case, his hesitance toward just telling his boss seems to imply to me that he thinks that his boss will not take this well

      – bremen_matt
      yesterday






    • 6





      Then, again: the employee might still have Ukrain roots, be a russion speaker or whatever. German xenophobs recently came up with the word Passdeutscher meaning soemone is german because their passport says so, Not because of their bloodline/origin.

      – Bernhard Döbler
      yesterday






    • 1





      @dim He's "from a small Middle European country, not far away from Transsylvania", so most likely not German.

      – Martin Schröder
      yesterday








    14




    14





    Not sure this is relevant. Wife is living 1500km away, but that doesn't necessarily imply that OP is not German. In any case, he didn't mention any concern about possible xenophobia from his boss.

    – dim
    yesterday





    Not sure this is relevant. Wife is living 1500km away, but that doesn't necessarily imply that OP is not German. In any case, he didn't mention any concern about possible xenophobia from his boss.

    – dim
    yesterday




    4




    4





    You are right. I just assumed this to be the case.

    – bremen_matt
    yesterday





    You are right. I just assumed this to be the case.

    – bremen_matt
    yesterday




    3




    3





    In any case, his hesitance toward just telling his boss seems to imply to me that he thinks that his boss will not take this well

    – bremen_matt
    yesterday





    In any case, his hesitance toward just telling his boss seems to imply to me that he thinks that his boss will not take this well

    – bremen_matt
    yesterday




    6




    6





    Then, again: the employee might still have Ukrain roots, be a russion speaker or whatever. German xenophobs recently came up with the word Passdeutscher meaning soemone is german because their passport says so, Not because of their bloodline/origin.

    – Bernhard Döbler
    yesterday





    Then, again: the employee might still have Ukrain roots, be a russion speaker or whatever. German xenophobs recently came up with the word Passdeutscher meaning soemone is german because their passport says so, Not because of their bloodline/origin.

    – Bernhard Döbler
    yesterday




    1




    1





    @dim He's "from a small Middle European country, not far away from Transsylvania", so most likely not German.

    – Martin Schröder
    yesterday





    @dim He's "from a small Middle European country, not far away from Transsylvania", so most likely not German.

    – Martin Schröder
    yesterday











    4














    Already a bit late, but at the companies where I have worked this would be handled by calling the immediate superior and asking for a day off or two (Gleitzeit/Urlaub) because of a family emergency. HR and higher management would not even know that something unusual happened. However, if your company is very small, things might work differently.



    Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor. But I would not recommend that in this case, as employers take that very seriously and some coworkers do not really like that either.



    Even if your employer thinks that "troublesome girlfriend" is not a valid excuse for missing work, you might still just get a Abmahnung (kind of a last warning) instead of firing you. But that obviously depends a lot on your boss.



    P.S. a short google search suggests that an Abmahnung is indeed mandatory before firing someone for missing work. I any case, I would still strongly suggest to try to solve this without getting an Abmahnung.






    share|improve this answer


























    • Note that the three sick days count calendar days, so that only allows him Monday.

      – Martin Schröder
      yesterday






    • 1





      No. Three calendar days means that if he gets sick on Friday, he has to see the doctor on Monday. If he gets sick on Monday, he has to see the doctor on Thursday. But as said, this is not what I would recommend anyway.

      – Jan
      yesterday






    • 2





      "Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor." Faking an illness can be grounds for immediate termination (Fristlose Kuendigung), so yeah that sounds like a less than brilliant plan indeed.

      – Voo
      yesterday













    • @Voo OP's situation causes a lot of tension and stress on him, which could/does affect his ability to work. I'd say that qualifies for a sick leave for psychological reasons. And I know there are general practitioners in Germany that certify the incapacity for work.

      – Arsak
      17 hours ago











    • I would still be careful with this. I personally would do this only if a) I am convinced I am unfit for work, b) I am convinced I can convince my boss I am unfit for work, or c) the choice is between potential termination if I get caught and certain termination if I have no excuse for not showing up to work (e.g. after a prior formal warning). I am not sure any of these apply here, thus "not recommended".

      – Jan
      16 hours ago
















    4














    Already a bit late, but at the companies where I have worked this would be handled by calling the immediate superior and asking for a day off or two (Gleitzeit/Urlaub) because of a family emergency. HR and higher management would not even know that something unusual happened. However, if your company is very small, things might work differently.



    Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor. But I would not recommend that in this case, as employers take that very seriously and some coworkers do not really like that either.



    Even if your employer thinks that "troublesome girlfriend" is not a valid excuse for missing work, you might still just get a Abmahnung (kind of a last warning) instead of firing you. But that obviously depends a lot on your boss.



    P.S. a short google search suggests that an Abmahnung is indeed mandatory before firing someone for missing work. I any case, I would still strongly suggest to try to solve this without getting an Abmahnung.






    share|improve this answer


























    • Note that the three sick days count calendar days, so that only allows him Monday.

      – Martin Schröder
      yesterday






    • 1





      No. Three calendar days means that if he gets sick on Friday, he has to see the doctor on Monday. If he gets sick on Monday, he has to see the doctor on Thursday. But as said, this is not what I would recommend anyway.

      – Jan
      yesterday






    • 2





      "Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor." Faking an illness can be grounds for immediate termination (Fristlose Kuendigung), so yeah that sounds like a less than brilliant plan indeed.

      – Voo
      yesterday













    • @Voo OP's situation causes a lot of tension and stress on him, which could/does affect his ability to work. I'd say that qualifies for a sick leave for psychological reasons. And I know there are general practitioners in Germany that certify the incapacity for work.

      – Arsak
      17 hours ago











    • I would still be careful with this. I personally would do this only if a) I am convinced I am unfit for work, b) I am convinced I can convince my boss I am unfit for work, or c) the choice is between potential termination if I get caught and certain termination if I have no excuse for not showing up to work (e.g. after a prior formal warning). I am not sure any of these apply here, thus "not recommended".

      – Jan
      16 hours ago














    4












    4








    4







    Already a bit late, but at the companies where I have worked this would be handled by calling the immediate superior and asking for a day off or two (Gleitzeit/Urlaub) because of a family emergency. HR and higher management would not even know that something unusual happened. However, if your company is very small, things might work differently.



    Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor. But I would not recommend that in this case, as employers take that very seriously and some coworkers do not really like that either.



    Even if your employer thinks that "troublesome girlfriend" is not a valid excuse for missing work, you might still just get a Abmahnung (kind of a last warning) instead of firing you. But that obviously depends a lot on your boss.



    P.S. a short google search suggests that an Abmahnung is indeed mandatory before firing someone for missing work. I any case, I would still strongly suggest to try to solve this without getting an Abmahnung.






    share|improve this answer















    Already a bit late, but at the companies where I have worked this would be handled by calling the immediate superior and asking for a day off or two (Gleitzeit/Urlaub) because of a family emergency. HR and higher management would not even know that something unusual happened. However, if your company is very small, things might work differently.



    Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor. But I would not recommend that in this case, as employers take that very seriously and some coworkers do not really like that either.



    Even if your employer thinks that "troublesome girlfriend" is not a valid excuse for missing work, you might still just get a Abmahnung (kind of a last warning) instead of firing you. But that obviously depends a lot on your boss.



    P.S. a short google search suggests that an Abmahnung is indeed mandatory before firing someone for missing work. I any case, I would still strongly suggest to try to solve this without getting an Abmahnung.







    share|improve this answer














    share|improve this answer



    share|improve this answer








    edited yesterday

























    answered yesterday









    JanJan

    1173




    1173













    • Note that the three sick days count calendar days, so that only allows him Monday.

      – Martin Schröder
      yesterday






    • 1





      No. Three calendar days means that if he gets sick on Friday, he has to see the doctor on Monday. If he gets sick on Monday, he has to see the doctor on Thursday. But as said, this is not what I would recommend anyway.

      – Jan
      yesterday






    • 2





      "Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor." Faking an illness can be grounds for immediate termination (Fristlose Kuendigung), so yeah that sounds like a less than brilliant plan indeed.

      – Voo
      yesterday













    • @Voo OP's situation causes a lot of tension and stress on him, which could/does affect his ability to work. I'd say that qualifies for a sick leave for psychological reasons. And I know there are general practitioners in Germany that certify the incapacity for work.

      – Arsak
      17 hours ago











    • I would still be careful with this. I personally would do this only if a) I am convinced I am unfit for work, b) I am convinced I can convince my boss I am unfit for work, or c) the choice is between potential termination if I get caught and certain termination if I have no excuse for not showing up to work (e.g. after a prior formal warning). I am not sure any of these apply here, thus "not recommended".

      – Jan
      16 hours ago



















    • Note that the three sick days count calendar days, so that only allows him Monday.

      – Martin Schröder
      yesterday






    • 1





      No. Three calendar days means that if he gets sick on Friday, he has to see the doctor on Monday. If he gets sick on Monday, he has to see the doctor on Thursday. But as said, this is not what I would recommend anyway.

      – Jan
      yesterday






    • 2





      "Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor." Faking an illness can be grounds for immediate termination (Fristlose Kuendigung), so yeah that sounds like a less than brilliant plan indeed.

      – Voo
      yesterday













    • @Voo OP's situation causes a lot of tension and stress on him, which could/does affect his ability to work. I'd say that qualifies for a sick leave for psychological reasons. And I know there are general practitioners in Germany that certify the incapacity for work.

      – Arsak
      17 hours ago











    • I would still be careful with this. I personally would do this only if a) I am convinced I am unfit for work, b) I am convinced I can convince my boss I am unfit for work, or c) the choice is between potential termination if I get caught and certain termination if I have no excuse for not showing up to work (e.g. after a prior formal warning). I am not sure any of these apply here, thus "not recommended".

      – Jan
      16 hours ago

















    Note that the three sick days count calendar days, so that only allows him Monday.

    – Martin Schröder
    yesterday





    Note that the three sick days count calendar days, so that only allows him Monday.

    – Martin Schröder
    yesterday




    1




    1





    No. Three calendar days means that if he gets sick on Friday, he has to see the doctor on Monday. If he gets sick on Monday, he has to see the doctor on Thursday. But as said, this is not what I would recommend anyway.

    – Jan
    yesterday





    No. Three calendar days means that if he gets sick on Friday, he has to see the doctor on Monday. If he gets sick on Monday, he has to see the doctor on Thursday. But as said, this is not what I would recommend anyway.

    – Jan
    yesterday




    2




    2





    "Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor." Faking an illness can be grounds for immediate termination (Fristlose Kuendigung), so yeah that sounds like a less than brilliant plan indeed.

    – Voo
    yesterday







    "Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor." Faking an illness can be grounds for immediate termination (Fristlose Kuendigung), so yeah that sounds like a less than brilliant plan indeed.

    – Voo
    yesterday















    @Voo OP's situation causes a lot of tension and stress on him, which could/does affect his ability to work. I'd say that qualifies for a sick leave for psychological reasons. And I know there are general practitioners in Germany that certify the incapacity for work.

    – Arsak
    17 hours ago





    @Voo OP's situation causes a lot of tension and stress on him, which could/does affect his ability to work. I'd say that qualifies for a sick leave for psychological reasons. And I know there are general practitioners in Germany that certify the incapacity for work.

    – Arsak
    17 hours ago













    I would still be careful with this. I personally would do this only if a) I am convinced I am unfit for work, b) I am convinced I can convince my boss I am unfit for work, or c) the choice is between potential termination if I get caught and certain termination if I have no excuse for not showing up to work (e.g. after a prior formal warning). I am not sure any of these apply here, thus "not recommended".

    – Jan
    16 hours ago





    I would still be careful with this. I personally would do this only if a) I am convinced I am unfit for work, b) I am convinced I can convince my boss I am unfit for work, or c) the choice is between potential termination if I get caught and certain termination if I have no excuse for not showing up to work (e.g. after a prior formal warning). I am not sure any of these apply here, thus "not recommended".

    – Jan
    16 hours ago











    0














    Putting some existing answers together in a more verbatim manner.




    "Dear [Bossname],



    Due to an unfortunate family event, involving my pregnant fiancée
    living in [Neverneverland], I will be unable to be at [Workplace City]
    in person this [Monsday].



    Currently, I am on my way to [Neverneverland]. I will be able to work
    remotely for [Doomsday] and [Damsday]. As for the time since
    [Thenday], I am not sure if I will be able to work. I will keep you
    informed. Please count these days as my payed leave, if it will not
    work out. I plan to be back by [Monsday next week], but cannot say for
    sure at the moment.



    I apologise deeply for this sudden and unexpected leave, but the
    situation is urgent. I will be available per phone and email today and
    on [Doomsday]. From [Damsday] onward I am in [Neverneverland] and
    would be available per email and [Telegraph] chat only. I apologise
    again for the inconvenience.



    Best regards,



    John Doe"






    On a separate notice I wish OP good luck and an understanding from his employer.






    share|improve this answer










    New contributor




    Oleg Lobachev is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
    Check out our Code of Conduct.

























      0














      Putting some existing answers together in a more verbatim manner.




      "Dear [Bossname],



      Due to an unfortunate family event, involving my pregnant fiancée
      living in [Neverneverland], I will be unable to be at [Workplace City]
      in person this [Monsday].



      Currently, I am on my way to [Neverneverland]. I will be able to work
      remotely for [Doomsday] and [Damsday]. As for the time since
      [Thenday], I am not sure if I will be able to work. I will keep you
      informed. Please count these days as my payed leave, if it will not
      work out. I plan to be back by [Monsday next week], but cannot say for
      sure at the moment.



      I apologise deeply for this sudden and unexpected leave, but the
      situation is urgent. I will be available per phone and email today and
      on [Doomsday]. From [Damsday] onward I am in [Neverneverland] and
      would be available per email and [Telegraph] chat only. I apologise
      again for the inconvenience.



      Best regards,



      John Doe"






      On a separate notice I wish OP good luck and an understanding from his employer.






      share|improve this answer










      New contributor




      Oleg Lobachev is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
      Check out our Code of Conduct.























        0












        0








        0







        Putting some existing answers together in a more verbatim manner.




        "Dear [Bossname],



        Due to an unfortunate family event, involving my pregnant fiancée
        living in [Neverneverland], I will be unable to be at [Workplace City]
        in person this [Monsday].



        Currently, I am on my way to [Neverneverland]. I will be able to work
        remotely for [Doomsday] and [Damsday]. As for the time since
        [Thenday], I am not sure if I will be able to work. I will keep you
        informed. Please count these days as my payed leave, if it will not
        work out. I plan to be back by [Monsday next week], but cannot say for
        sure at the moment.



        I apologise deeply for this sudden and unexpected leave, but the
        situation is urgent. I will be available per phone and email today and
        on [Doomsday]. From [Damsday] onward I am in [Neverneverland] and
        would be available per email and [Telegraph] chat only. I apologise
        again for the inconvenience.



        Best regards,



        John Doe"






        On a separate notice I wish OP good luck and an understanding from his employer.






        share|improve this answer










        New contributor




        Oleg Lobachev is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
        Check out our Code of Conduct.










        Putting some existing answers together in a more verbatim manner.




        "Dear [Bossname],



        Due to an unfortunate family event, involving my pregnant fiancée
        living in [Neverneverland], I will be unable to be at [Workplace City]
        in person this [Monsday].



        Currently, I am on my way to [Neverneverland]. I will be able to work
        remotely for [Doomsday] and [Damsday]. As for the time since
        [Thenday], I am not sure if I will be able to work. I will keep you
        informed. Please count these days as my payed leave, if it will not
        work out. I plan to be back by [Monsday next week], but cannot say for
        sure at the moment.



        I apologise deeply for this sudden and unexpected leave, but the
        situation is urgent. I will be available per phone and email today and
        on [Doomsday]. From [Damsday] onward I am in [Neverneverland] and
        would be available per email and [Telegraph] chat only. I apologise
        again for the inconvenience.



        Best regards,



        John Doe"






        On a separate notice I wish OP good luck and an understanding from his employer.







        share|improve this answer










        New contributor




        Oleg Lobachev is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
        Check out our Code of Conduct.









        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer








        edited 3 hours ago









        bruglesco

        5,23451746




        5,23451746






        New contributor




        Oleg Lobachev is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
        Check out our Code of Conduct.









        answered 5 hours ago









        Oleg LobachevOleg Lobachev

        1012




        1012




        New contributor




        Oleg Lobachev is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
        Check out our Code of Conduct.





        New contributor





        Oleg Lobachev is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
        Check out our Code of Conduct.






        Oleg Lobachev is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
        Check out our Code of Conduct.






























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