Describing a chess game in a novelDoes the following piece have too much dry narration (mundane tasks, moving about)?Clear steps for developing a powerful inner conflictHang on - where's the main conflict?How to develop a more vivid and descriptive writing styleHow to refer to clothes without modern words ? (e.g: t-shirt)Grammar for describing novel plots?Trying to regain writing skills I lost after a writing hiatusConverting/rewriting present tense narratives to past tense gracefully. Not a question about verb conjugationOrdinary writing or Prose: how to make it immersive?Im writing a short story but Im struggling to show the read not tell the reader
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Describing a chess game in a novel
Does the following piece have too much dry narration (mundane tasks, moving about)?Clear steps for developing a powerful inner conflictHang on - where's the main conflict?How to develop a more vivid and descriptive writing styleHow to refer to clothes without modern words ? (e.g: t-shirt)Grammar for describing novel plots?Trying to regain writing skills I lost after a writing hiatusConverting/rewriting present tense narratives to past tense gracefully. Not a question about verb conjugationOrdinary writing or Prose: how to make it immersive?Im writing a short story but Im struggling to show the read not tell the reader
I have a scene in a upcoming novel where two people play a game of chess, and I realized how difficult it was to describe it. The problem is due to the fact that there are many pieces and you can't really tell your readers where every pieces are at a certain point, and you also need to make sure that the location of the piece is possible.
Anyway, here's an excerpt:
Due to the exchange in the centre, Black was in a difficult situation.
White had a comfortable situation against the isolated pawn. White
placed his rook on c1, the usual in this situation, waiting for the
opponent to make a move with his queen. Was this the right move? White
thought for a moment. He realized he would need to move the rook to b1
in case he would need to revert back to the Carlsbad structure.
The problem is it's very hard to understand where the pieces are exactly, and I can't just describe where every pieces are in a particular situation. It would take way too long, so I will probably lose my reader. It's a sort of lose-lose situation and I can't think of any good way to get out of this situation.
creative-writing novel description
|
show 4 more comments
I have a scene in a upcoming novel where two people play a game of chess, and I realized how difficult it was to describe it. The problem is due to the fact that there are many pieces and you can't really tell your readers where every pieces are at a certain point, and you also need to make sure that the location of the piece is possible.
Anyway, here's an excerpt:
Due to the exchange in the centre, Black was in a difficult situation.
White had a comfortable situation against the isolated pawn. White
placed his rook on c1, the usual in this situation, waiting for the
opponent to make a move with his queen. Was this the right move? White
thought for a moment. He realized he would need to move the rook to b1
in case he would need to revert back to the Carlsbad structure.
The problem is it's very hard to understand where the pieces are exactly, and I can't just describe where every pieces are in a particular situation. It would take way too long, so I will probably lose my reader. It's a sort of lose-lose situation and I can't think of any good way to get out of this situation.
creative-writing novel description
1
If you want to be evocative, try using the older notation. R to QB1 is still meaningful.
– Rasdashan
Mar 16 at 13:10
3
Would including a diagram showing the position be an option? In any case, do you expect all your readers to be familiar with chess, so is it an important plot point?
– Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
Mar 16 at 14:51
2
I know a certain Harry Potter book has a chess game scene, you could maybe get inspired from that. But that's all I know, maybe this could help you.
– stackzebra
2 days ago
2
2001 A Space Oddessy has chess in it, as well as the novel Forrest Gump. But, to your point, this is probably as much description of a chess game as you'd need. It's enough to convey the strategic nature of chess, but not to much to become boring and distracting to the reader. Don't fall into the trap of trying to show off how smart you want everyone to think you are.
– Issel
2 days ago
2
Have a look at en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Royal_Game (not just the website, the book is quite excellent). Even though there is one chess party that it is quite essential, and it is very well described, it's not to the point where you could reconstruct the game.
– gnasher729
2 days ago
|
show 4 more comments
I have a scene in a upcoming novel where two people play a game of chess, and I realized how difficult it was to describe it. The problem is due to the fact that there are many pieces and you can't really tell your readers where every pieces are at a certain point, and you also need to make sure that the location of the piece is possible.
Anyway, here's an excerpt:
Due to the exchange in the centre, Black was in a difficult situation.
White had a comfortable situation against the isolated pawn. White
placed his rook on c1, the usual in this situation, waiting for the
opponent to make a move with his queen. Was this the right move? White
thought for a moment. He realized he would need to move the rook to b1
in case he would need to revert back to the Carlsbad structure.
The problem is it's very hard to understand where the pieces are exactly, and I can't just describe where every pieces are in a particular situation. It would take way too long, so I will probably lose my reader. It's a sort of lose-lose situation and I can't think of any good way to get out of this situation.
creative-writing novel description
I have a scene in a upcoming novel where two people play a game of chess, and I realized how difficult it was to describe it. The problem is due to the fact that there are many pieces and you can't really tell your readers where every pieces are at a certain point, and you also need to make sure that the location of the piece is possible.
Anyway, here's an excerpt:
Due to the exchange in the centre, Black was in a difficult situation.
White had a comfortable situation against the isolated pawn. White
placed his rook on c1, the usual in this situation, waiting for the
opponent to make a move with his queen. Was this the right move? White
thought for a moment. He realized he would need to move the rook to b1
in case he would need to revert back to the Carlsbad structure.
The problem is it's very hard to understand where the pieces are exactly, and I can't just describe where every pieces are in a particular situation. It would take way too long, so I will probably lose my reader. It's a sort of lose-lose situation and I can't think of any good way to get out of this situation.
creative-writing novel description
creative-writing novel description
edited Mar 16 at 15:28
repomonster
asked Mar 16 at 12:27
repomonsterrepomonster
1
1
1
If you want to be evocative, try using the older notation. R to QB1 is still meaningful.
– Rasdashan
Mar 16 at 13:10
3
Would including a diagram showing the position be an option? In any case, do you expect all your readers to be familiar with chess, so is it an important plot point?
– Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
Mar 16 at 14:51
2
I know a certain Harry Potter book has a chess game scene, you could maybe get inspired from that. But that's all I know, maybe this could help you.
– stackzebra
2 days ago
2
2001 A Space Oddessy has chess in it, as well as the novel Forrest Gump. But, to your point, this is probably as much description of a chess game as you'd need. It's enough to convey the strategic nature of chess, but not to much to become boring and distracting to the reader. Don't fall into the trap of trying to show off how smart you want everyone to think you are.
– Issel
2 days ago
2
Have a look at en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Royal_Game (not just the website, the book is quite excellent). Even though there is one chess party that it is quite essential, and it is very well described, it's not to the point where you could reconstruct the game.
– gnasher729
2 days ago
|
show 4 more comments
1
If you want to be evocative, try using the older notation. R to QB1 is still meaningful.
– Rasdashan
Mar 16 at 13:10
3
Would including a diagram showing the position be an option? In any case, do you expect all your readers to be familiar with chess, so is it an important plot point?
– Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
Mar 16 at 14:51
2
I know a certain Harry Potter book has a chess game scene, you could maybe get inspired from that. But that's all I know, maybe this could help you.
– stackzebra
2 days ago
2
2001 A Space Oddessy has chess in it, as well as the novel Forrest Gump. But, to your point, this is probably as much description of a chess game as you'd need. It's enough to convey the strategic nature of chess, but not to much to become boring and distracting to the reader. Don't fall into the trap of trying to show off how smart you want everyone to think you are.
– Issel
2 days ago
2
Have a look at en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Royal_Game (not just the website, the book is quite excellent). Even though there is one chess party that it is quite essential, and it is very well described, it's not to the point where you could reconstruct the game.
– gnasher729
2 days ago
1
1
If you want to be evocative, try using the older notation. R to QB1 is still meaningful.
– Rasdashan
Mar 16 at 13:10
If you want to be evocative, try using the older notation. R to QB1 is still meaningful.
– Rasdashan
Mar 16 at 13:10
3
3
Would including a diagram showing the position be an option? In any case, do you expect all your readers to be familiar with chess, so is it an important plot point?
– Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
Mar 16 at 14:51
Would including a diagram showing the position be an option? In any case, do you expect all your readers to be familiar with chess, so is it an important plot point?
– Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
Mar 16 at 14:51
2
2
I know a certain Harry Potter book has a chess game scene, you could maybe get inspired from that. But that's all I know, maybe this could help you.
– stackzebra
2 days ago
I know a certain Harry Potter book has a chess game scene, you could maybe get inspired from that. But that's all I know, maybe this could help you.
– stackzebra
2 days ago
2
2
2001 A Space Oddessy has chess in it, as well as the novel Forrest Gump. But, to your point, this is probably as much description of a chess game as you'd need. It's enough to convey the strategic nature of chess, but not to much to become boring and distracting to the reader. Don't fall into the trap of trying to show off how smart you want everyone to think you are.
– Issel
2 days ago
2001 A Space Oddessy has chess in it, as well as the novel Forrest Gump. But, to your point, this is probably as much description of a chess game as you'd need. It's enough to convey the strategic nature of chess, but not to much to become boring and distracting to the reader. Don't fall into the trap of trying to show off how smart you want everyone to think you are.
– Issel
2 days ago
2
2
Have a look at en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Royal_Game (not just the website, the book is quite excellent). Even though there is one chess party that it is quite essential, and it is very well described, it's not to the point where you could reconstruct the game.
– gnasher729
2 days ago
Have a look at en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Royal_Game (not just the website, the book is quite excellent). Even though there is one chess party that it is quite essential, and it is very well described, it's not to the point where you could reconstruct the game.
– gnasher729
2 days ago
|
show 4 more comments
11 Answers
11
active
oldest
votes
I'm finding your use of "Black" and "White" as character names to be distracting. I realize that it's meant to be more straight-forward to use the chess sides as names, but it throws me off.
Give them names, give them genders (different genders is helpful for following things if it otherwise doesn't matter). Why? Because your reader cares about the emotional investment in the game and not the details, unless it's a reader who happens to be a chess expert. I know how to play chess in the casual way many do and I couldn't follow those details.
I suggest you intersperse the exchange with dialogue that describes the positions. "Rook to C1." If it's a formal game where the moves are called out, show it as actual quotes (from the player or a commentator). If it's an informal game, show the moves in italics as a description of the action. Then leave the narrative to describe the characters' emotions and strategy and so forth. This allows the reader to become invested in the moves and to understand them, even if they don't understand them.
(Note: I don't know chess notation and some moves may make no sense, just replace with accurate moves.)
After the last exchange, Hugo's position was a lot more comfortable,
and his opponent's more difficult.
White: Rook to C1.
This was the usual move in situations like this and Hugo expected Lida
to move her queen in response. Had he made the right move?
Black: Castle to A5.
Hugo bit his lip. He should have moved the rook to B1. He could do
it now, it set him up to revert to the Carlsbad structure if he had
to, but he'd lose a chance to move his knight into a more protective
position.
1
Nice idea! Didn't think about this format.
– repomonster
2 days ago
1
@Cyn Do you mean castle as the maneuver to get the king away from potential danger (king side castle or queen side castle) or as a less formal name for rook?
– Rasdashan
2 days ago
1
@Rasdashan I mean: "substitute actual chess moves for my examples." I was using Repomonster's wording but I don't know enough about chess to know if I messed them up. But I thought rook was the same as bishop...the tall pointy one that goes diagonal. Castle is more stout with a castle tower shape.
– Cyn
2 days ago
2
This was a great answer, interesting to read the conversion of the text and I think offers the best way to solve the problem. Great stuff.
– raddevus
2 days ago
1
@Rasdashan Nodding. I am familiar with the castle move, but I meant "move the castle." It doesn't really matter, I was just showing formatting. OP can fix the details.
– Cyn
2 days ago
|
show 2 more comments
It depends on if you want to be precise or abstract.
If you want to be precise, proper notation (abc, 123) is the way to go, but this may lose your readers if they are unfamiliar with the notation. If you want to be abstract, describe it like the events aren't happening on a board, but as an actual battle that is happening around your players. This can still give the same feeling without being as constrained by the notation restrictions.
That said, it just really depends on what you want to go for.
add a comment |
The game should say something about the characters playing it.
What are you trying to convey through this scene? The decision-making process of one or both actors? The actual action of the game? How they perceive the struggle?
For example, if the main character is supposed to be seen as experienced, but perhaps not an expert in chess:
[Char one] didn't expect that move -- the King's Gambit. He had thought [char two] was the slow, strategic sort. This move, though, opened up risks for everyone. [Char one] glanced at the clock. There was no time to ponder -- he moved his queen's pawn to the center, as was his habit.
If a character is supposed to be seen as highly knowledgeable:
He opened with his favorite, the Queen's Gambit. If [char two] took the hanging pawn, he'd control the center of the board. From there, it would be easy. [Char two] declined, defending the center instead of taking the bait. "The Tarrasch defense," thought [Char one], "This will be a long game..."
In neither case am I describing the moves in detail.
If you want to describe an entire game through an extended scene, in detail, you should explore some completed games and base your scene on it. As long as you're basing your descriptions on a real game, you should have no problem sticking to what's possible.
New contributor
1
This. Don't describe the game itself, describe the game being played.
– Thomo
yesterday
add a comment |
Your story must be perfectly readable and understandable by people who do not play chess, do not know the rules, and only know through pop-culture osmosis that there are pieces called 'rook', 'knight', etc. Write with that in mind.
With that in mind, I probably wouldn't use chess notation at all. Somebody who has never played chess wouldn't be able to read it. Instead, I'd describe the situation, in broad strokes. A player might be forced to sacrifice a piece, or they might suddenly realise their careful plan has a fatal flaw, the opponent might find a way to escape a trap laid for them, or they might be playing an aggressive game, forcing the MC to do nothing but react. Those are all evocative descriptions that do not require the specifics of what's happening on the board, to be understood.
@Stackzebra mentions in a comment the chess game from Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. It's a good example. The scene is engaging, it's fun, the reader experiences the tension of it, it works. Only trouble is, if you put the titbits of information about the game together, it turns out that not only is there no actual position in the author's mind that she's describing on the page, but she appears not to know the chess rules at all.
If I take one step forward
says Ron, the knight.
This example is great because the chess fails: the scene works despite the chess failure. Exemplifying what is important (the character dynamics, the sense of danger, etc.) and what isn't important (the chess).
For a different example, I would point you to the videogame Dragon Age Inquisition. While your player-character is walking around doing things, some of your companions banter in the background. And two of them start a chess game. Here's a link to the full dialogue, with added animation, and added overlay of the actual game being played. Incidentally, here the chess does work - they are playing the Immortal Game.
An example of dialogue from their game:
Solas: So, where were we? Ah, yes. Mage to C4.
Iron Bull: Little aggressive. Arishok to H4. Check.
Solas: Speaking of aggressive. I assume Arishok is your term for the Queen?
The two characters come from different cultures, their names for the pieces are different. It's a titbit of worldbuilding information that's interesting whether you're following the game or not. Also, note the commentary about a move being aggressive. Again, that clues in the non-chess-player audience. The game proceeds in the same way: it's all audio that you hear while playing, no board before you, so the dialogue must engage you in other ways, similar to how a novel would have to do it. In order to achieve that, every move is commented on, in a way that one doesn't need to understand chess in order to understand what's going on.
Iron Bull: You've got no Towers. You're down to a single Mage. Too bad you wasted time moving that Pawn to... to... You sneaky son of a bitch.
Great examples. But I would disagree in that naming the pieces and board locations might add a feeling of expertise to the game, even for readers who don't know them. It makes us see the characters as skilled and intelligent. As long as the relative impact is described ("an aggressive move..."), we will follow along, having gained respect for the characters and their knowledge.
– icanfathom
17 hours ago
add a comment |
If your reader plays chess, you have no need to describe every piece. They will assume, unless otherwise stated, that most of the pieces are still in their original position.
Using the names of particular gambits and positions might be distracting. Remember, it is a game between two players and at certain levels, playing the player is important too.
The pawn exchange in the centre of the board opened him up to an
attack, his black knight sacrificed for position. Might have been a
blunder, his opponent seemed more confident. He saw a possible check
and decided to take it - moving his rook into position at KB8 - he
liked the old notation. Protected obliquely by his bishop, might just
pull a win out of this situation and flip it. Unless there was
something he didn’t see. Reluctantly, he removed his fingers from the
rook, committing to the move. Why was he smiling?
Really good description!
– repomonster
Mar 16 at 13:47
add a comment |
I'll answer this question from a chess perspective (I'm a National Master of chess). I don't think the description makes much sense. You indicated there is an isolated pawn in the center and that white is thinking of transitioning to a Carlsbad structure. The only way this could happen is if black has a pawn on d5, pawn on b7, and white can make an exchange on c6 where black could capture back with the pawn. In that case, it's hard to think of a reasonable situation where white would want his rook on b1 (unless I'm missing something). Your reader probably isn't going to notice but it bothers me when I see inaccurate descriptions of chess in media, though this isn't nearly as bad as most!
New contributor
2
Welcome to Writing.SE! Please take our tour, if you haven't already. Our site is focused on the craft of writing, not so much on chess. How would you want a chess game to be described in a story you're reading? Note: story, not professional chess literature. A National Master's perspective on that would actually be very interesting.
– Galastel
yesterday
1
+1 for the great details about chess. While it may not matter in this (or another specific) story, I am with you about getting details right. For example, one of my very favorite novels has a huge blemish on it as far as I'm concerned because it propagates one of the worst myths within genealogy (that Ellis Island officials changed people's names). Any serious genealogist, whether hobbyist or professional, bristles at the very idea, fiction or not. So I get it about you wanting the chess to be right. If I ever include a chess scene in a book, I know who I want to be my sensitivity reader!
– Cyn
yesterday
I play chess sometimes, and this scene is already going over my head. I wonder how a reader without knowledge or interest in chess would fee reading it.
– imatowrite
20 hours ago
add a comment |
As a novelist myself, who writes fiction about the game of checkers, I find the critical question is this:
Who is your intended and expected audience?
Makes a lot of difference in how you handle it.
New contributor
2
Hi Bob! Welcome to Writing.SE! Your answer would be better if you could expand it: give some examples of how writing for different audiences would affect the way one writes, for this specific question. You say it "makes a lot of difference", but you don't explain how. Also, take a look at our tour and How to Answer pages, if you haven't already. :)
– Galastel
yesterday
add a comment |
What is the purpose of this scene? I think that's the main question.
Is this a story for chess enthusiasts where the readers must follow every move and understand the strategic / tactical thoughts that went into it?
If the moves are integral to the story, I would say invest more words to describe the board and the scenario.
I am not an expert chess player by any means, but I play the game. And frankly, I can't follow the plot at all.
But if the chess game is not the point of the story, I would zoom out, gloss over the moves, and tell the actual story.
In all my experience as a reader, I have only seen ONE highly detailed description of an actual board game.... But that was because.. the game was integral to the story.
add a comment |
Let me give you an idea as a chessplayer myself. First off though, it was a good suggestion to use names instead of white and black. You can tell the reader who was white and who was black on the start of the game.
Do not describe a game. Describe the feelings. For example. The determination on the first moves on the opening part. The tension of a position in the middle game. The rush, the will to defeat one another, the whole battle of minds that is going on.
A surprising move that shocks the losing opponent. A suprprising comeback after a few moves. I mean, you can set up a chess game by describing feelings and not describing anything that happens on the chessboard.
Chess players will appreciate it, because they can relate to the agony, stress of a losing postion, the relief of a comeback, stuff like that. The rest of the readers don't have to know anything about chess to follow.
add a comment |
You either have to be precise, and include diagrams, or be "vaguely dramatic". There is no "middle ground" here.
Literature has many examples of chess matches and chess players. Other answers have already mentioned a number of them. What I think is common between them is that they are capturing the drama of the game, but not the game itself, not in enough detail that the reader is able to recreate it. You can mention the opening, and some individual moves, but the focus is on dramatic effect, not the moves themselves.
I know of only one example of "precise" chess fiction. Classic Russian Sci-Fi author Alexander Kazantsev had a book "Caissa's gift", in which fictional stories were revolving around chess games, complete with diagrams and move-by-move descriptions. I don't think this book was ever translated into English. The book, imho, was very interesting for both chess players and casual readers because one could either put the pieces on board and follow the story move by move, or ignore the exact moves and just follow the plot as it's written. It needs to be mentioned that Kazantsev was a master chess study composer.
Trying to provide some, but not all exact moves, and no diagrams I think would be a mistake. For a non-player, that would be simply a distraction. For a reader who is a chess player and would want to recreate the exact position, but that would prove to be very taxing, if possible at all.
add a comment |
Weave the position in the game into the larger theme of the novel. Don't use square locations like c1 and b1. Instead say something like "I moved my bishop one square and occupied the longest diagonal." or "My King couldn't move; I was checkmated." or "The rook made a lateral move; a blindspot I didn't notice."
New contributor
add a comment |
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11 Answers
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I'm finding your use of "Black" and "White" as character names to be distracting. I realize that it's meant to be more straight-forward to use the chess sides as names, but it throws me off.
Give them names, give them genders (different genders is helpful for following things if it otherwise doesn't matter). Why? Because your reader cares about the emotional investment in the game and not the details, unless it's a reader who happens to be a chess expert. I know how to play chess in the casual way many do and I couldn't follow those details.
I suggest you intersperse the exchange with dialogue that describes the positions. "Rook to C1." If it's a formal game where the moves are called out, show it as actual quotes (from the player or a commentator). If it's an informal game, show the moves in italics as a description of the action. Then leave the narrative to describe the characters' emotions and strategy and so forth. This allows the reader to become invested in the moves and to understand them, even if they don't understand them.
(Note: I don't know chess notation and some moves may make no sense, just replace with accurate moves.)
After the last exchange, Hugo's position was a lot more comfortable,
and his opponent's more difficult.
White: Rook to C1.
This was the usual move in situations like this and Hugo expected Lida
to move her queen in response. Had he made the right move?
Black: Castle to A5.
Hugo bit his lip. He should have moved the rook to B1. He could do
it now, it set him up to revert to the Carlsbad structure if he had
to, but he'd lose a chance to move his knight into a more protective
position.
1
Nice idea! Didn't think about this format.
– repomonster
2 days ago
1
@Cyn Do you mean castle as the maneuver to get the king away from potential danger (king side castle or queen side castle) or as a less formal name for rook?
– Rasdashan
2 days ago
1
@Rasdashan I mean: "substitute actual chess moves for my examples." I was using Repomonster's wording but I don't know enough about chess to know if I messed them up. But I thought rook was the same as bishop...the tall pointy one that goes diagonal. Castle is more stout with a castle tower shape.
– Cyn
2 days ago
2
This was a great answer, interesting to read the conversion of the text and I think offers the best way to solve the problem. Great stuff.
– raddevus
2 days ago
1
@Rasdashan Nodding. I am familiar with the castle move, but I meant "move the castle." It doesn't really matter, I was just showing formatting. OP can fix the details.
– Cyn
2 days ago
|
show 2 more comments
I'm finding your use of "Black" and "White" as character names to be distracting. I realize that it's meant to be more straight-forward to use the chess sides as names, but it throws me off.
Give them names, give them genders (different genders is helpful for following things if it otherwise doesn't matter). Why? Because your reader cares about the emotional investment in the game and not the details, unless it's a reader who happens to be a chess expert. I know how to play chess in the casual way many do and I couldn't follow those details.
I suggest you intersperse the exchange with dialogue that describes the positions. "Rook to C1." If it's a formal game where the moves are called out, show it as actual quotes (from the player or a commentator). If it's an informal game, show the moves in italics as a description of the action. Then leave the narrative to describe the characters' emotions and strategy and so forth. This allows the reader to become invested in the moves and to understand them, even if they don't understand them.
(Note: I don't know chess notation and some moves may make no sense, just replace with accurate moves.)
After the last exchange, Hugo's position was a lot more comfortable,
and his opponent's more difficult.
White: Rook to C1.
This was the usual move in situations like this and Hugo expected Lida
to move her queen in response. Had he made the right move?
Black: Castle to A5.
Hugo bit his lip. He should have moved the rook to B1. He could do
it now, it set him up to revert to the Carlsbad structure if he had
to, but he'd lose a chance to move his knight into a more protective
position.
1
Nice idea! Didn't think about this format.
– repomonster
2 days ago
1
@Cyn Do you mean castle as the maneuver to get the king away from potential danger (king side castle or queen side castle) or as a less formal name for rook?
– Rasdashan
2 days ago
1
@Rasdashan I mean: "substitute actual chess moves for my examples." I was using Repomonster's wording but I don't know enough about chess to know if I messed them up. But I thought rook was the same as bishop...the tall pointy one that goes diagonal. Castle is more stout with a castle tower shape.
– Cyn
2 days ago
2
This was a great answer, interesting to read the conversion of the text and I think offers the best way to solve the problem. Great stuff.
– raddevus
2 days ago
1
@Rasdashan Nodding. I am familiar with the castle move, but I meant "move the castle." It doesn't really matter, I was just showing formatting. OP can fix the details.
– Cyn
2 days ago
|
show 2 more comments
I'm finding your use of "Black" and "White" as character names to be distracting. I realize that it's meant to be more straight-forward to use the chess sides as names, but it throws me off.
Give them names, give them genders (different genders is helpful for following things if it otherwise doesn't matter). Why? Because your reader cares about the emotional investment in the game and not the details, unless it's a reader who happens to be a chess expert. I know how to play chess in the casual way many do and I couldn't follow those details.
I suggest you intersperse the exchange with dialogue that describes the positions. "Rook to C1." If it's a formal game where the moves are called out, show it as actual quotes (from the player or a commentator). If it's an informal game, show the moves in italics as a description of the action. Then leave the narrative to describe the characters' emotions and strategy and so forth. This allows the reader to become invested in the moves and to understand them, even if they don't understand them.
(Note: I don't know chess notation and some moves may make no sense, just replace with accurate moves.)
After the last exchange, Hugo's position was a lot more comfortable,
and his opponent's more difficult.
White: Rook to C1.
This was the usual move in situations like this and Hugo expected Lida
to move her queen in response. Had he made the right move?
Black: Castle to A5.
Hugo bit his lip. He should have moved the rook to B1. He could do
it now, it set him up to revert to the Carlsbad structure if he had
to, but he'd lose a chance to move his knight into a more protective
position.
I'm finding your use of "Black" and "White" as character names to be distracting. I realize that it's meant to be more straight-forward to use the chess sides as names, but it throws me off.
Give them names, give them genders (different genders is helpful for following things if it otherwise doesn't matter). Why? Because your reader cares about the emotional investment in the game and not the details, unless it's a reader who happens to be a chess expert. I know how to play chess in the casual way many do and I couldn't follow those details.
I suggest you intersperse the exchange with dialogue that describes the positions. "Rook to C1." If it's a formal game where the moves are called out, show it as actual quotes (from the player or a commentator). If it's an informal game, show the moves in italics as a description of the action. Then leave the narrative to describe the characters' emotions and strategy and so forth. This allows the reader to become invested in the moves and to understand them, even if they don't understand them.
(Note: I don't know chess notation and some moves may make no sense, just replace with accurate moves.)
After the last exchange, Hugo's position was a lot more comfortable,
and his opponent's more difficult.
White: Rook to C1.
This was the usual move in situations like this and Hugo expected Lida
to move her queen in response. Had he made the right move?
Black: Castle to A5.
Hugo bit his lip. He should have moved the rook to B1. He could do
it now, it set him up to revert to the Carlsbad structure if he had
to, but he'd lose a chance to move his knight into a more protective
position.
edited 2 days ago
answered 2 days ago
CynCyn
14.2k13070
14.2k13070
1
Nice idea! Didn't think about this format.
– repomonster
2 days ago
1
@Cyn Do you mean castle as the maneuver to get the king away from potential danger (king side castle or queen side castle) or as a less formal name for rook?
– Rasdashan
2 days ago
1
@Rasdashan I mean: "substitute actual chess moves for my examples." I was using Repomonster's wording but I don't know enough about chess to know if I messed them up. But I thought rook was the same as bishop...the tall pointy one that goes diagonal. Castle is more stout with a castle tower shape.
– Cyn
2 days ago
2
This was a great answer, interesting to read the conversion of the text and I think offers the best way to solve the problem. Great stuff.
– raddevus
2 days ago
1
@Rasdashan Nodding. I am familiar with the castle move, but I meant "move the castle." It doesn't really matter, I was just showing formatting. OP can fix the details.
– Cyn
2 days ago
|
show 2 more comments
1
Nice idea! Didn't think about this format.
– repomonster
2 days ago
1
@Cyn Do you mean castle as the maneuver to get the king away from potential danger (king side castle or queen side castle) or as a less formal name for rook?
– Rasdashan
2 days ago
1
@Rasdashan I mean: "substitute actual chess moves for my examples." I was using Repomonster's wording but I don't know enough about chess to know if I messed them up. But I thought rook was the same as bishop...the tall pointy one that goes diagonal. Castle is more stout with a castle tower shape.
– Cyn
2 days ago
2
This was a great answer, interesting to read the conversion of the text and I think offers the best way to solve the problem. Great stuff.
– raddevus
2 days ago
1
@Rasdashan Nodding. I am familiar with the castle move, but I meant "move the castle." It doesn't really matter, I was just showing formatting. OP can fix the details.
– Cyn
2 days ago
1
1
Nice idea! Didn't think about this format.
– repomonster
2 days ago
Nice idea! Didn't think about this format.
– repomonster
2 days ago
1
1
@Cyn Do you mean castle as the maneuver to get the king away from potential danger (king side castle or queen side castle) or as a less formal name for rook?
– Rasdashan
2 days ago
@Cyn Do you mean castle as the maneuver to get the king away from potential danger (king side castle or queen side castle) or as a less formal name for rook?
– Rasdashan
2 days ago
1
1
@Rasdashan I mean: "substitute actual chess moves for my examples." I was using Repomonster's wording but I don't know enough about chess to know if I messed them up. But I thought rook was the same as bishop...the tall pointy one that goes diagonal. Castle is more stout with a castle tower shape.
– Cyn
2 days ago
@Rasdashan I mean: "substitute actual chess moves for my examples." I was using Repomonster's wording but I don't know enough about chess to know if I messed them up. But I thought rook was the same as bishop...the tall pointy one that goes diagonal. Castle is more stout with a castle tower shape.
– Cyn
2 days ago
2
2
This was a great answer, interesting to read the conversion of the text and I think offers the best way to solve the problem. Great stuff.
– raddevus
2 days ago
This was a great answer, interesting to read the conversion of the text and I think offers the best way to solve the problem. Great stuff.
– raddevus
2 days ago
1
1
@Rasdashan Nodding. I am familiar with the castle move, but I meant "move the castle." It doesn't really matter, I was just showing formatting. OP can fix the details.
– Cyn
2 days ago
@Rasdashan Nodding. I am familiar with the castle move, but I meant "move the castle." It doesn't really matter, I was just showing formatting. OP can fix the details.
– Cyn
2 days ago
|
show 2 more comments
It depends on if you want to be precise or abstract.
If you want to be precise, proper notation (abc, 123) is the way to go, but this may lose your readers if they are unfamiliar with the notation. If you want to be abstract, describe it like the events aren't happening on a board, but as an actual battle that is happening around your players. This can still give the same feeling without being as constrained by the notation restrictions.
That said, it just really depends on what you want to go for.
add a comment |
It depends on if you want to be precise or abstract.
If you want to be precise, proper notation (abc, 123) is the way to go, but this may lose your readers if they are unfamiliar with the notation. If you want to be abstract, describe it like the events aren't happening on a board, but as an actual battle that is happening around your players. This can still give the same feeling without being as constrained by the notation restrictions.
That said, it just really depends on what you want to go for.
add a comment |
It depends on if you want to be precise or abstract.
If you want to be precise, proper notation (abc, 123) is the way to go, but this may lose your readers if they are unfamiliar with the notation. If you want to be abstract, describe it like the events aren't happening on a board, but as an actual battle that is happening around your players. This can still give the same feeling without being as constrained by the notation restrictions.
That said, it just really depends on what you want to go for.
It depends on if you want to be precise or abstract.
If you want to be precise, proper notation (abc, 123) is the way to go, but this may lose your readers if they are unfamiliar with the notation. If you want to be abstract, describe it like the events aren't happening on a board, but as an actual battle that is happening around your players. This can still give the same feeling without being as constrained by the notation restrictions.
That said, it just really depends on what you want to go for.
answered Mar 16 at 12:34
Sora TamashiiSora Tamashii
1,587215
1,587215
add a comment |
add a comment |
The game should say something about the characters playing it.
What are you trying to convey through this scene? The decision-making process of one or both actors? The actual action of the game? How they perceive the struggle?
For example, if the main character is supposed to be seen as experienced, but perhaps not an expert in chess:
[Char one] didn't expect that move -- the King's Gambit. He had thought [char two] was the slow, strategic sort. This move, though, opened up risks for everyone. [Char one] glanced at the clock. There was no time to ponder -- he moved his queen's pawn to the center, as was his habit.
If a character is supposed to be seen as highly knowledgeable:
He opened with his favorite, the Queen's Gambit. If [char two] took the hanging pawn, he'd control the center of the board. From there, it would be easy. [Char two] declined, defending the center instead of taking the bait. "The Tarrasch defense," thought [Char one], "This will be a long game..."
In neither case am I describing the moves in detail.
If you want to describe an entire game through an extended scene, in detail, you should explore some completed games and base your scene on it. As long as you're basing your descriptions on a real game, you should have no problem sticking to what's possible.
New contributor
1
This. Don't describe the game itself, describe the game being played.
– Thomo
yesterday
add a comment |
The game should say something about the characters playing it.
What are you trying to convey through this scene? The decision-making process of one or both actors? The actual action of the game? How they perceive the struggle?
For example, if the main character is supposed to be seen as experienced, but perhaps not an expert in chess:
[Char one] didn't expect that move -- the King's Gambit. He had thought [char two] was the slow, strategic sort. This move, though, opened up risks for everyone. [Char one] glanced at the clock. There was no time to ponder -- he moved his queen's pawn to the center, as was his habit.
If a character is supposed to be seen as highly knowledgeable:
He opened with his favorite, the Queen's Gambit. If [char two] took the hanging pawn, he'd control the center of the board. From there, it would be easy. [Char two] declined, defending the center instead of taking the bait. "The Tarrasch defense," thought [Char one], "This will be a long game..."
In neither case am I describing the moves in detail.
If you want to describe an entire game through an extended scene, in detail, you should explore some completed games and base your scene on it. As long as you're basing your descriptions on a real game, you should have no problem sticking to what's possible.
New contributor
1
This. Don't describe the game itself, describe the game being played.
– Thomo
yesterday
add a comment |
The game should say something about the characters playing it.
What are you trying to convey through this scene? The decision-making process of one or both actors? The actual action of the game? How they perceive the struggle?
For example, if the main character is supposed to be seen as experienced, but perhaps not an expert in chess:
[Char one] didn't expect that move -- the King's Gambit. He had thought [char two] was the slow, strategic sort. This move, though, opened up risks for everyone. [Char one] glanced at the clock. There was no time to ponder -- he moved his queen's pawn to the center, as was his habit.
If a character is supposed to be seen as highly knowledgeable:
He opened with his favorite, the Queen's Gambit. If [char two] took the hanging pawn, he'd control the center of the board. From there, it would be easy. [Char two] declined, defending the center instead of taking the bait. "The Tarrasch defense," thought [Char one], "This will be a long game..."
In neither case am I describing the moves in detail.
If you want to describe an entire game through an extended scene, in detail, you should explore some completed games and base your scene on it. As long as you're basing your descriptions on a real game, you should have no problem sticking to what's possible.
New contributor
The game should say something about the characters playing it.
What are you trying to convey through this scene? The decision-making process of one or both actors? The actual action of the game? How they perceive the struggle?
For example, if the main character is supposed to be seen as experienced, but perhaps not an expert in chess:
[Char one] didn't expect that move -- the King's Gambit. He had thought [char two] was the slow, strategic sort. This move, though, opened up risks for everyone. [Char one] glanced at the clock. There was no time to ponder -- he moved his queen's pawn to the center, as was his habit.
If a character is supposed to be seen as highly knowledgeable:
He opened with his favorite, the Queen's Gambit. If [char two] took the hanging pawn, he'd control the center of the board. From there, it would be easy. [Char two] declined, defending the center instead of taking the bait. "The Tarrasch defense," thought [Char one], "This will be a long game..."
In neither case am I describing the moves in detail.
If you want to describe an entire game through an extended scene, in detail, you should explore some completed games and base your scene on it. As long as you're basing your descriptions on a real game, you should have no problem sticking to what's possible.
New contributor
New contributor
answered 2 days ago
Master_YogurtMaster_Yogurt
2113
2113
New contributor
New contributor
1
This. Don't describe the game itself, describe the game being played.
– Thomo
yesterday
add a comment |
1
This. Don't describe the game itself, describe the game being played.
– Thomo
yesterday
1
1
This. Don't describe the game itself, describe the game being played.
– Thomo
yesterday
This. Don't describe the game itself, describe the game being played.
– Thomo
yesterday
add a comment |
Your story must be perfectly readable and understandable by people who do not play chess, do not know the rules, and only know through pop-culture osmosis that there are pieces called 'rook', 'knight', etc. Write with that in mind.
With that in mind, I probably wouldn't use chess notation at all. Somebody who has never played chess wouldn't be able to read it. Instead, I'd describe the situation, in broad strokes. A player might be forced to sacrifice a piece, or they might suddenly realise their careful plan has a fatal flaw, the opponent might find a way to escape a trap laid for them, or they might be playing an aggressive game, forcing the MC to do nothing but react. Those are all evocative descriptions that do not require the specifics of what's happening on the board, to be understood.
@Stackzebra mentions in a comment the chess game from Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. It's a good example. The scene is engaging, it's fun, the reader experiences the tension of it, it works. Only trouble is, if you put the titbits of information about the game together, it turns out that not only is there no actual position in the author's mind that she's describing on the page, but she appears not to know the chess rules at all.
If I take one step forward
says Ron, the knight.
This example is great because the chess fails: the scene works despite the chess failure. Exemplifying what is important (the character dynamics, the sense of danger, etc.) and what isn't important (the chess).
For a different example, I would point you to the videogame Dragon Age Inquisition. While your player-character is walking around doing things, some of your companions banter in the background. And two of them start a chess game. Here's a link to the full dialogue, with added animation, and added overlay of the actual game being played. Incidentally, here the chess does work - they are playing the Immortal Game.
An example of dialogue from their game:
Solas: So, where were we? Ah, yes. Mage to C4.
Iron Bull: Little aggressive. Arishok to H4. Check.
Solas: Speaking of aggressive. I assume Arishok is your term for the Queen?
The two characters come from different cultures, their names for the pieces are different. It's a titbit of worldbuilding information that's interesting whether you're following the game or not. Also, note the commentary about a move being aggressive. Again, that clues in the non-chess-player audience. The game proceeds in the same way: it's all audio that you hear while playing, no board before you, so the dialogue must engage you in other ways, similar to how a novel would have to do it. In order to achieve that, every move is commented on, in a way that one doesn't need to understand chess in order to understand what's going on.
Iron Bull: You've got no Towers. You're down to a single Mage. Too bad you wasted time moving that Pawn to... to... You sneaky son of a bitch.
Great examples. But I would disagree in that naming the pieces and board locations might add a feeling of expertise to the game, even for readers who don't know them. It makes us see the characters as skilled and intelligent. As long as the relative impact is described ("an aggressive move..."), we will follow along, having gained respect for the characters and their knowledge.
– icanfathom
17 hours ago
add a comment |
Your story must be perfectly readable and understandable by people who do not play chess, do not know the rules, and only know through pop-culture osmosis that there are pieces called 'rook', 'knight', etc. Write with that in mind.
With that in mind, I probably wouldn't use chess notation at all. Somebody who has never played chess wouldn't be able to read it. Instead, I'd describe the situation, in broad strokes. A player might be forced to sacrifice a piece, or they might suddenly realise their careful plan has a fatal flaw, the opponent might find a way to escape a trap laid for them, or they might be playing an aggressive game, forcing the MC to do nothing but react. Those are all evocative descriptions that do not require the specifics of what's happening on the board, to be understood.
@Stackzebra mentions in a comment the chess game from Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. It's a good example. The scene is engaging, it's fun, the reader experiences the tension of it, it works. Only trouble is, if you put the titbits of information about the game together, it turns out that not only is there no actual position in the author's mind that she's describing on the page, but she appears not to know the chess rules at all.
If I take one step forward
says Ron, the knight.
This example is great because the chess fails: the scene works despite the chess failure. Exemplifying what is important (the character dynamics, the sense of danger, etc.) and what isn't important (the chess).
For a different example, I would point you to the videogame Dragon Age Inquisition. While your player-character is walking around doing things, some of your companions banter in the background. And two of them start a chess game. Here's a link to the full dialogue, with added animation, and added overlay of the actual game being played. Incidentally, here the chess does work - they are playing the Immortal Game.
An example of dialogue from their game:
Solas: So, where were we? Ah, yes. Mage to C4.
Iron Bull: Little aggressive. Arishok to H4. Check.
Solas: Speaking of aggressive. I assume Arishok is your term for the Queen?
The two characters come from different cultures, their names for the pieces are different. It's a titbit of worldbuilding information that's interesting whether you're following the game or not. Also, note the commentary about a move being aggressive. Again, that clues in the non-chess-player audience. The game proceeds in the same way: it's all audio that you hear while playing, no board before you, so the dialogue must engage you in other ways, similar to how a novel would have to do it. In order to achieve that, every move is commented on, in a way that one doesn't need to understand chess in order to understand what's going on.
Iron Bull: You've got no Towers. You're down to a single Mage. Too bad you wasted time moving that Pawn to... to... You sneaky son of a bitch.
Great examples. But I would disagree in that naming the pieces and board locations might add a feeling of expertise to the game, even for readers who don't know them. It makes us see the characters as skilled and intelligent. As long as the relative impact is described ("an aggressive move..."), we will follow along, having gained respect for the characters and their knowledge.
– icanfathom
17 hours ago
add a comment |
Your story must be perfectly readable and understandable by people who do not play chess, do not know the rules, and only know through pop-culture osmosis that there are pieces called 'rook', 'knight', etc. Write with that in mind.
With that in mind, I probably wouldn't use chess notation at all. Somebody who has never played chess wouldn't be able to read it. Instead, I'd describe the situation, in broad strokes. A player might be forced to sacrifice a piece, or they might suddenly realise their careful plan has a fatal flaw, the opponent might find a way to escape a trap laid for them, or they might be playing an aggressive game, forcing the MC to do nothing but react. Those are all evocative descriptions that do not require the specifics of what's happening on the board, to be understood.
@Stackzebra mentions in a comment the chess game from Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. It's a good example. The scene is engaging, it's fun, the reader experiences the tension of it, it works. Only trouble is, if you put the titbits of information about the game together, it turns out that not only is there no actual position in the author's mind that she's describing on the page, but she appears not to know the chess rules at all.
If I take one step forward
says Ron, the knight.
This example is great because the chess fails: the scene works despite the chess failure. Exemplifying what is important (the character dynamics, the sense of danger, etc.) and what isn't important (the chess).
For a different example, I would point you to the videogame Dragon Age Inquisition. While your player-character is walking around doing things, some of your companions banter in the background. And two of them start a chess game. Here's a link to the full dialogue, with added animation, and added overlay of the actual game being played. Incidentally, here the chess does work - they are playing the Immortal Game.
An example of dialogue from their game:
Solas: So, where were we? Ah, yes. Mage to C4.
Iron Bull: Little aggressive. Arishok to H4. Check.
Solas: Speaking of aggressive. I assume Arishok is your term for the Queen?
The two characters come from different cultures, their names for the pieces are different. It's a titbit of worldbuilding information that's interesting whether you're following the game or not. Also, note the commentary about a move being aggressive. Again, that clues in the non-chess-player audience. The game proceeds in the same way: it's all audio that you hear while playing, no board before you, so the dialogue must engage you in other ways, similar to how a novel would have to do it. In order to achieve that, every move is commented on, in a way that one doesn't need to understand chess in order to understand what's going on.
Iron Bull: You've got no Towers. You're down to a single Mage. Too bad you wasted time moving that Pawn to... to... You sneaky son of a bitch.
Your story must be perfectly readable and understandable by people who do not play chess, do not know the rules, and only know through pop-culture osmosis that there are pieces called 'rook', 'knight', etc. Write with that in mind.
With that in mind, I probably wouldn't use chess notation at all. Somebody who has never played chess wouldn't be able to read it. Instead, I'd describe the situation, in broad strokes. A player might be forced to sacrifice a piece, or they might suddenly realise their careful plan has a fatal flaw, the opponent might find a way to escape a trap laid for them, or they might be playing an aggressive game, forcing the MC to do nothing but react. Those are all evocative descriptions that do not require the specifics of what's happening on the board, to be understood.
@Stackzebra mentions in a comment the chess game from Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. It's a good example. The scene is engaging, it's fun, the reader experiences the tension of it, it works. Only trouble is, if you put the titbits of information about the game together, it turns out that not only is there no actual position in the author's mind that she's describing on the page, but she appears not to know the chess rules at all.
If I take one step forward
says Ron, the knight.
This example is great because the chess fails: the scene works despite the chess failure. Exemplifying what is important (the character dynamics, the sense of danger, etc.) and what isn't important (the chess).
For a different example, I would point you to the videogame Dragon Age Inquisition. While your player-character is walking around doing things, some of your companions banter in the background. And two of them start a chess game. Here's a link to the full dialogue, with added animation, and added overlay of the actual game being played. Incidentally, here the chess does work - they are playing the Immortal Game.
An example of dialogue from their game:
Solas: So, where were we? Ah, yes. Mage to C4.
Iron Bull: Little aggressive. Arishok to H4. Check.
Solas: Speaking of aggressive. I assume Arishok is your term for the Queen?
The two characters come from different cultures, their names for the pieces are different. It's a titbit of worldbuilding information that's interesting whether you're following the game or not. Also, note the commentary about a move being aggressive. Again, that clues in the non-chess-player audience. The game proceeds in the same way: it's all audio that you hear while playing, no board before you, so the dialogue must engage you in other ways, similar to how a novel would have to do it. In order to achieve that, every move is commented on, in a way that one doesn't need to understand chess in order to understand what's going on.
Iron Bull: You've got no Towers. You're down to a single Mage. Too bad you wasted time moving that Pawn to... to... You sneaky son of a bitch.
answered 2 days ago
GalastelGalastel
36.8k6109194
36.8k6109194
Great examples. But I would disagree in that naming the pieces and board locations might add a feeling of expertise to the game, even for readers who don't know them. It makes us see the characters as skilled and intelligent. As long as the relative impact is described ("an aggressive move..."), we will follow along, having gained respect for the characters and their knowledge.
– icanfathom
17 hours ago
add a comment |
Great examples. But I would disagree in that naming the pieces and board locations might add a feeling of expertise to the game, even for readers who don't know them. It makes us see the characters as skilled and intelligent. As long as the relative impact is described ("an aggressive move..."), we will follow along, having gained respect for the characters and their knowledge.
– icanfathom
17 hours ago
Great examples. But I would disagree in that naming the pieces and board locations might add a feeling of expertise to the game, even for readers who don't know them. It makes us see the characters as skilled and intelligent. As long as the relative impact is described ("an aggressive move..."), we will follow along, having gained respect for the characters and their knowledge.
– icanfathom
17 hours ago
Great examples. But I would disagree in that naming the pieces and board locations might add a feeling of expertise to the game, even for readers who don't know them. It makes us see the characters as skilled and intelligent. As long as the relative impact is described ("an aggressive move..."), we will follow along, having gained respect for the characters and their knowledge.
– icanfathom
17 hours ago
add a comment |
If your reader plays chess, you have no need to describe every piece. They will assume, unless otherwise stated, that most of the pieces are still in their original position.
Using the names of particular gambits and positions might be distracting. Remember, it is a game between two players and at certain levels, playing the player is important too.
The pawn exchange in the centre of the board opened him up to an
attack, his black knight sacrificed for position. Might have been a
blunder, his opponent seemed more confident. He saw a possible check
and decided to take it - moving his rook into position at KB8 - he
liked the old notation. Protected obliquely by his bishop, might just
pull a win out of this situation and flip it. Unless there was
something he didn’t see. Reluctantly, he removed his fingers from the
rook, committing to the move. Why was he smiling?
Really good description!
– repomonster
Mar 16 at 13:47
add a comment |
If your reader plays chess, you have no need to describe every piece. They will assume, unless otherwise stated, that most of the pieces are still in their original position.
Using the names of particular gambits and positions might be distracting. Remember, it is a game between two players and at certain levels, playing the player is important too.
The pawn exchange in the centre of the board opened him up to an
attack, his black knight sacrificed for position. Might have been a
blunder, his opponent seemed more confident. He saw a possible check
and decided to take it - moving his rook into position at KB8 - he
liked the old notation. Protected obliquely by his bishop, might just
pull a win out of this situation and flip it. Unless there was
something he didn’t see. Reluctantly, he removed his fingers from the
rook, committing to the move. Why was he smiling?
Really good description!
– repomonster
Mar 16 at 13:47
add a comment |
If your reader plays chess, you have no need to describe every piece. They will assume, unless otherwise stated, that most of the pieces are still in their original position.
Using the names of particular gambits and positions might be distracting. Remember, it is a game between two players and at certain levels, playing the player is important too.
The pawn exchange in the centre of the board opened him up to an
attack, his black knight sacrificed for position. Might have been a
blunder, his opponent seemed more confident. He saw a possible check
and decided to take it - moving his rook into position at KB8 - he
liked the old notation. Protected obliquely by his bishop, might just
pull a win out of this situation and flip it. Unless there was
something he didn’t see. Reluctantly, he removed his fingers from the
rook, committing to the move. Why was he smiling?
If your reader plays chess, you have no need to describe every piece. They will assume, unless otherwise stated, that most of the pieces are still in their original position.
Using the names of particular gambits and positions might be distracting. Remember, it is a game between two players and at certain levels, playing the player is important too.
The pawn exchange in the centre of the board opened him up to an
attack, his black knight sacrificed for position. Might have been a
blunder, his opponent seemed more confident. He saw a possible check
and decided to take it - moving his rook into position at KB8 - he
liked the old notation. Protected obliquely by his bishop, might just
pull a win out of this situation and flip it. Unless there was
something he didn’t see. Reluctantly, he removed his fingers from the
rook, committing to the move. Why was he smiling?
answered Mar 16 at 13:42
RasdashanRasdashan
7,7831151
7,7831151
Really good description!
– repomonster
Mar 16 at 13:47
add a comment |
Really good description!
– repomonster
Mar 16 at 13:47
Really good description!
– repomonster
Mar 16 at 13:47
Really good description!
– repomonster
Mar 16 at 13:47
add a comment |
I'll answer this question from a chess perspective (I'm a National Master of chess). I don't think the description makes much sense. You indicated there is an isolated pawn in the center and that white is thinking of transitioning to a Carlsbad structure. The only way this could happen is if black has a pawn on d5, pawn on b7, and white can make an exchange on c6 where black could capture back with the pawn. In that case, it's hard to think of a reasonable situation where white would want his rook on b1 (unless I'm missing something). Your reader probably isn't going to notice but it bothers me when I see inaccurate descriptions of chess in media, though this isn't nearly as bad as most!
New contributor
2
Welcome to Writing.SE! Please take our tour, if you haven't already. Our site is focused on the craft of writing, not so much on chess. How would you want a chess game to be described in a story you're reading? Note: story, not professional chess literature. A National Master's perspective on that would actually be very interesting.
– Galastel
yesterday
1
+1 for the great details about chess. While it may not matter in this (or another specific) story, I am with you about getting details right. For example, one of my very favorite novels has a huge blemish on it as far as I'm concerned because it propagates one of the worst myths within genealogy (that Ellis Island officials changed people's names). Any serious genealogist, whether hobbyist or professional, bristles at the very idea, fiction or not. So I get it about you wanting the chess to be right. If I ever include a chess scene in a book, I know who I want to be my sensitivity reader!
– Cyn
yesterday
I play chess sometimes, and this scene is already going over my head. I wonder how a reader without knowledge or interest in chess would fee reading it.
– imatowrite
20 hours ago
add a comment |
I'll answer this question from a chess perspective (I'm a National Master of chess). I don't think the description makes much sense. You indicated there is an isolated pawn in the center and that white is thinking of transitioning to a Carlsbad structure. The only way this could happen is if black has a pawn on d5, pawn on b7, and white can make an exchange on c6 where black could capture back with the pawn. In that case, it's hard to think of a reasonable situation where white would want his rook on b1 (unless I'm missing something). Your reader probably isn't going to notice but it bothers me when I see inaccurate descriptions of chess in media, though this isn't nearly as bad as most!
New contributor
2
Welcome to Writing.SE! Please take our tour, if you haven't already. Our site is focused on the craft of writing, not so much on chess. How would you want a chess game to be described in a story you're reading? Note: story, not professional chess literature. A National Master's perspective on that would actually be very interesting.
– Galastel
yesterday
1
+1 for the great details about chess. While it may not matter in this (or another specific) story, I am with you about getting details right. For example, one of my very favorite novels has a huge blemish on it as far as I'm concerned because it propagates one of the worst myths within genealogy (that Ellis Island officials changed people's names). Any serious genealogist, whether hobbyist or professional, bristles at the very idea, fiction or not. So I get it about you wanting the chess to be right. If I ever include a chess scene in a book, I know who I want to be my sensitivity reader!
– Cyn
yesterday
I play chess sometimes, and this scene is already going over my head. I wonder how a reader without knowledge or interest in chess would fee reading it.
– imatowrite
20 hours ago
add a comment |
I'll answer this question from a chess perspective (I'm a National Master of chess). I don't think the description makes much sense. You indicated there is an isolated pawn in the center and that white is thinking of transitioning to a Carlsbad structure. The only way this could happen is if black has a pawn on d5, pawn on b7, and white can make an exchange on c6 where black could capture back with the pawn. In that case, it's hard to think of a reasonable situation where white would want his rook on b1 (unless I'm missing something). Your reader probably isn't going to notice but it bothers me when I see inaccurate descriptions of chess in media, though this isn't nearly as bad as most!
New contributor
I'll answer this question from a chess perspective (I'm a National Master of chess). I don't think the description makes much sense. You indicated there is an isolated pawn in the center and that white is thinking of transitioning to a Carlsbad structure. The only way this could happen is if black has a pawn on d5, pawn on b7, and white can make an exchange on c6 where black could capture back with the pawn. In that case, it's hard to think of a reasonable situation where white would want his rook on b1 (unless I'm missing something). Your reader probably isn't going to notice but it bothers me when I see inaccurate descriptions of chess in media, though this isn't nearly as bad as most!
New contributor
New contributor
answered yesterday
lightnesscasterlightnesscaster
311
311
New contributor
New contributor
2
Welcome to Writing.SE! Please take our tour, if you haven't already. Our site is focused on the craft of writing, not so much on chess. How would you want a chess game to be described in a story you're reading? Note: story, not professional chess literature. A National Master's perspective on that would actually be very interesting.
– Galastel
yesterday
1
+1 for the great details about chess. While it may not matter in this (or another specific) story, I am with you about getting details right. For example, one of my very favorite novels has a huge blemish on it as far as I'm concerned because it propagates one of the worst myths within genealogy (that Ellis Island officials changed people's names). Any serious genealogist, whether hobbyist or professional, bristles at the very idea, fiction or not. So I get it about you wanting the chess to be right. If I ever include a chess scene in a book, I know who I want to be my sensitivity reader!
– Cyn
yesterday
I play chess sometimes, and this scene is already going over my head. I wonder how a reader without knowledge or interest in chess would fee reading it.
– imatowrite
20 hours ago
add a comment |
2
Welcome to Writing.SE! Please take our tour, if you haven't already. Our site is focused on the craft of writing, not so much on chess. How would you want a chess game to be described in a story you're reading? Note: story, not professional chess literature. A National Master's perspective on that would actually be very interesting.
– Galastel
yesterday
1
+1 for the great details about chess. While it may not matter in this (or another specific) story, I am with you about getting details right. For example, one of my very favorite novels has a huge blemish on it as far as I'm concerned because it propagates one of the worst myths within genealogy (that Ellis Island officials changed people's names). Any serious genealogist, whether hobbyist or professional, bristles at the very idea, fiction or not. So I get it about you wanting the chess to be right. If I ever include a chess scene in a book, I know who I want to be my sensitivity reader!
– Cyn
yesterday
I play chess sometimes, and this scene is already going over my head. I wonder how a reader without knowledge or interest in chess would fee reading it.
– imatowrite
20 hours ago
2
2
Welcome to Writing.SE! Please take our tour, if you haven't already. Our site is focused on the craft of writing, not so much on chess. How would you want a chess game to be described in a story you're reading? Note: story, not professional chess literature. A National Master's perspective on that would actually be very interesting.
– Galastel
yesterday
Welcome to Writing.SE! Please take our tour, if you haven't already. Our site is focused on the craft of writing, not so much on chess. How would you want a chess game to be described in a story you're reading? Note: story, not professional chess literature. A National Master's perspective on that would actually be very interesting.
– Galastel
yesterday
1
1
+1 for the great details about chess. While it may not matter in this (or another specific) story, I am with you about getting details right. For example, one of my very favorite novels has a huge blemish on it as far as I'm concerned because it propagates one of the worst myths within genealogy (that Ellis Island officials changed people's names). Any serious genealogist, whether hobbyist or professional, bristles at the very idea, fiction or not. So I get it about you wanting the chess to be right. If I ever include a chess scene in a book, I know who I want to be my sensitivity reader!
– Cyn
yesterday
+1 for the great details about chess. While it may not matter in this (or another specific) story, I am with you about getting details right. For example, one of my very favorite novels has a huge blemish on it as far as I'm concerned because it propagates one of the worst myths within genealogy (that Ellis Island officials changed people's names). Any serious genealogist, whether hobbyist or professional, bristles at the very idea, fiction or not. So I get it about you wanting the chess to be right. If I ever include a chess scene in a book, I know who I want to be my sensitivity reader!
– Cyn
yesterday
I play chess sometimes, and this scene is already going over my head. I wonder how a reader without knowledge or interest in chess would fee reading it.
– imatowrite
20 hours ago
I play chess sometimes, and this scene is already going over my head. I wonder how a reader without knowledge or interest in chess would fee reading it.
– imatowrite
20 hours ago
add a comment |
As a novelist myself, who writes fiction about the game of checkers, I find the critical question is this:
Who is your intended and expected audience?
Makes a lot of difference in how you handle it.
New contributor
2
Hi Bob! Welcome to Writing.SE! Your answer would be better if you could expand it: give some examples of how writing for different audiences would affect the way one writes, for this specific question. You say it "makes a lot of difference", but you don't explain how. Also, take a look at our tour and How to Answer pages, if you haven't already. :)
– Galastel
yesterday
add a comment |
As a novelist myself, who writes fiction about the game of checkers, I find the critical question is this:
Who is your intended and expected audience?
Makes a lot of difference in how you handle it.
New contributor
2
Hi Bob! Welcome to Writing.SE! Your answer would be better if you could expand it: give some examples of how writing for different audiences would affect the way one writes, for this specific question. You say it "makes a lot of difference", but you don't explain how. Also, take a look at our tour and How to Answer pages, if you haven't already. :)
– Galastel
yesterday
add a comment |
As a novelist myself, who writes fiction about the game of checkers, I find the critical question is this:
Who is your intended and expected audience?
Makes a lot of difference in how you handle it.
New contributor
As a novelist myself, who writes fiction about the game of checkers, I find the critical question is this:
Who is your intended and expected audience?
Makes a lot of difference in how you handle it.
New contributor
New contributor
answered yesterday
Bob NewellBob Newell
111
111
New contributor
New contributor
2
Hi Bob! Welcome to Writing.SE! Your answer would be better if you could expand it: give some examples of how writing for different audiences would affect the way one writes, for this specific question. You say it "makes a lot of difference", but you don't explain how. Also, take a look at our tour and How to Answer pages, if you haven't already. :)
– Galastel
yesterday
add a comment |
2
Hi Bob! Welcome to Writing.SE! Your answer would be better if you could expand it: give some examples of how writing for different audiences would affect the way one writes, for this specific question. You say it "makes a lot of difference", but you don't explain how. Also, take a look at our tour and How to Answer pages, if you haven't already. :)
– Galastel
yesterday
2
2
Hi Bob! Welcome to Writing.SE! Your answer would be better if you could expand it: give some examples of how writing for different audiences would affect the way one writes, for this specific question. You say it "makes a lot of difference", but you don't explain how. Also, take a look at our tour and How to Answer pages, if you haven't already. :)
– Galastel
yesterday
Hi Bob! Welcome to Writing.SE! Your answer would be better if you could expand it: give some examples of how writing for different audiences would affect the way one writes, for this specific question. You say it "makes a lot of difference", but you don't explain how. Also, take a look at our tour and How to Answer pages, if you haven't already. :)
– Galastel
yesterday
add a comment |
What is the purpose of this scene? I think that's the main question.
Is this a story for chess enthusiasts where the readers must follow every move and understand the strategic / tactical thoughts that went into it?
If the moves are integral to the story, I would say invest more words to describe the board and the scenario.
I am not an expert chess player by any means, but I play the game. And frankly, I can't follow the plot at all.
But if the chess game is not the point of the story, I would zoom out, gloss over the moves, and tell the actual story.
In all my experience as a reader, I have only seen ONE highly detailed description of an actual board game.... But that was because.. the game was integral to the story.
add a comment |
What is the purpose of this scene? I think that's the main question.
Is this a story for chess enthusiasts where the readers must follow every move and understand the strategic / tactical thoughts that went into it?
If the moves are integral to the story, I would say invest more words to describe the board and the scenario.
I am not an expert chess player by any means, but I play the game. And frankly, I can't follow the plot at all.
But if the chess game is not the point of the story, I would zoom out, gloss over the moves, and tell the actual story.
In all my experience as a reader, I have only seen ONE highly detailed description of an actual board game.... But that was because.. the game was integral to the story.
add a comment |
What is the purpose of this scene? I think that's the main question.
Is this a story for chess enthusiasts where the readers must follow every move and understand the strategic / tactical thoughts that went into it?
If the moves are integral to the story, I would say invest more words to describe the board and the scenario.
I am not an expert chess player by any means, but I play the game. And frankly, I can't follow the plot at all.
But if the chess game is not the point of the story, I would zoom out, gloss over the moves, and tell the actual story.
In all my experience as a reader, I have only seen ONE highly detailed description of an actual board game.... But that was because.. the game was integral to the story.
What is the purpose of this scene? I think that's the main question.
Is this a story for chess enthusiasts where the readers must follow every move and understand the strategic / tactical thoughts that went into it?
If the moves are integral to the story, I would say invest more words to describe the board and the scenario.
I am not an expert chess player by any means, but I play the game. And frankly, I can't follow the plot at all.
But if the chess game is not the point of the story, I would zoom out, gloss over the moves, and tell the actual story.
In all my experience as a reader, I have only seen ONE highly detailed description of an actual board game.... But that was because.. the game was integral to the story.
edited yesterday
answered yesterday
ashleyleeashleylee
7788
7788
add a comment |
add a comment |
Let me give you an idea as a chessplayer myself. First off though, it was a good suggestion to use names instead of white and black. You can tell the reader who was white and who was black on the start of the game.
Do not describe a game. Describe the feelings. For example. The determination on the first moves on the opening part. The tension of a position in the middle game. The rush, the will to defeat one another, the whole battle of minds that is going on.
A surprising move that shocks the losing opponent. A suprprising comeback after a few moves. I mean, you can set up a chess game by describing feelings and not describing anything that happens on the chessboard.
Chess players will appreciate it, because they can relate to the agony, stress of a losing postion, the relief of a comeback, stuff like that. The rest of the readers don't have to know anything about chess to follow.
add a comment |
Let me give you an idea as a chessplayer myself. First off though, it was a good suggestion to use names instead of white and black. You can tell the reader who was white and who was black on the start of the game.
Do not describe a game. Describe the feelings. For example. The determination on the first moves on the opening part. The tension of a position in the middle game. The rush, the will to defeat one another, the whole battle of minds that is going on.
A surprising move that shocks the losing opponent. A suprprising comeback after a few moves. I mean, you can set up a chess game by describing feelings and not describing anything that happens on the chessboard.
Chess players will appreciate it, because they can relate to the agony, stress of a losing postion, the relief of a comeback, stuff like that. The rest of the readers don't have to know anything about chess to follow.
add a comment |
Let me give you an idea as a chessplayer myself. First off though, it was a good suggestion to use names instead of white and black. You can tell the reader who was white and who was black on the start of the game.
Do not describe a game. Describe the feelings. For example. The determination on the first moves on the opening part. The tension of a position in the middle game. The rush, the will to defeat one another, the whole battle of minds that is going on.
A surprising move that shocks the losing opponent. A suprprising comeback after a few moves. I mean, you can set up a chess game by describing feelings and not describing anything that happens on the chessboard.
Chess players will appreciate it, because they can relate to the agony, stress of a losing postion, the relief of a comeback, stuff like that. The rest of the readers don't have to know anything about chess to follow.
Let me give you an idea as a chessplayer myself. First off though, it was a good suggestion to use names instead of white and black. You can tell the reader who was white and who was black on the start of the game.
Do not describe a game. Describe the feelings. For example. The determination on the first moves on the opening part. The tension of a position in the middle game. The rush, the will to defeat one another, the whole battle of minds that is going on.
A surprising move that shocks the losing opponent. A suprprising comeback after a few moves. I mean, you can set up a chess game by describing feelings and not describing anything that happens on the chessboard.
Chess players will appreciate it, because they can relate to the agony, stress of a losing postion, the relief of a comeback, stuff like that. The rest of the readers don't have to know anything about chess to follow.
answered 23 hours ago
George EcoGeorge Eco
1213
1213
add a comment |
add a comment |
You either have to be precise, and include diagrams, or be "vaguely dramatic". There is no "middle ground" here.
Literature has many examples of chess matches and chess players. Other answers have already mentioned a number of them. What I think is common between them is that they are capturing the drama of the game, but not the game itself, not in enough detail that the reader is able to recreate it. You can mention the opening, and some individual moves, but the focus is on dramatic effect, not the moves themselves.
I know of only one example of "precise" chess fiction. Classic Russian Sci-Fi author Alexander Kazantsev had a book "Caissa's gift", in which fictional stories were revolving around chess games, complete with diagrams and move-by-move descriptions. I don't think this book was ever translated into English. The book, imho, was very interesting for both chess players and casual readers because one could either put the pieces on board and follow the story move by move, or ignore the exact moves and just follow the plot as it's written. It needs to be mentioned that Kazantsev was a master chess study composer.
Trying to provide some, but not all exact moves, and no diagrams I think would be a mistake. For a non-player, that would be simply a distraction. For a reader who is a chess player and would want to recreate the exact position, but that would prove to be very taxing, if possible at all.
add a comment |
You either have to be precise, and include diagrams, or be "vaguely dramatic". There is no "middle ground" here.
Literature has many examples of chess matches and chess players. Other answers have already mentioned a number of them. What I think is common between them is that they are capturing the drama of the game, but not the game itself, not in enough detail that the reader is able to recreate it. You can mention the opening, and some individual moves, but the focus is on dramatic effect, not the moves themselves.
I know of only one example of "precise" chess fiction. Classic Russian Sci-Fi author Alexander Kazantsev had a book "Caissa's gift", in which fictional stories were revolving around chess games, complete with diagrams and move-by-move descriptions. I don't think this book was ever translated into English. The book, imho, was very interesting for both chess players and casual readers because one could either put the pieces on board and follow the story move by move, or ignore the exact moves and just follow the plot as it's written. It needs to be mentioned that Kazantsev was a master chess study composer.
Trying to provide some, but not all exact moves, and no diagrams I think would be a mistake. For a non-player, that would be simply a distraction. For a reader who is a chess player and would want to recreate the exact position, but that would prove to be very taxing, if possible at all.
add a comment |
You either have to be precise, and include diagrams, or be "vaguely dramatic". There is no "middle ground" here.
Literature has many examples of chess matches and chess players. Other answers have already mentioned a number of them. What I think is common between them is that they are capturing the drama of the game, but not the game itself, not in enough detail that the reader is able to recreate it. You can mention the opening, and some individual moves, but the focus is on dramatic effect, not the moves themselves.
I know of only one example of "precise" chess fiction. Classic Russian Sci-Fi author Alexander Kazantsev had a book "Caissa's gift", in which fictional stories were revolving around chess games, complete with diagrams and move-by-move descriptions. I don't think this book was ever translated into English. The book, imho, was very interesting for both chess players and casual readers because one could either put the pieces on board and follow the story move by move, or ignore the exact moves and just follow the plot as it's written. It needs to be mentioned that Kazantsev was a master chess study composer.
Trying to provide some, but not all exact moves, and no diagrams I think would be a mistake. For a non-player, that would be simply a distraction. For a reader who is a chess player and would want to recreate the exact position, but that would prove to be very taxing, if possible at all.
You either have to be precise, and include diagrams, or be "vaguely dramatic". There is no "middle ground" here.
Literature has many examples of chess matches and chess players. Other answers have already mentioned a number of them. What I think is common between them is that they are capturing the drama of the game, but not the game itself, not in enough detail that the reader is able to recreate it. You can mention the opening, and some individual moves, but the focus is on dramatic effect, not the moves themselves.
I know of only one example of "precise" chess fiction. Classic Russian Sci-Fi author Alexander Kazantsev had a book "Caissa's gift", in which fictional stories were revolving around chess games, complete with diagrams and move-by-move descriptions. I don't think this book was ever translated into English. The book, imho, was very interesting for both chess players and casual readers because one could either put the pieces on board and follow the story move by move, or ignore the exact moves and just follow the plot as it's written. It needs to be mentioned that Kazantsev was a master chess study composer.
Trying to provide some, but not all exact moves, and no diagrams I think would be a mistake. For a non-player, that would be simply a distraction. For a reader who is a chess player and would want to recreate the exact position, but that would prove to be very taxing, if possible at all.
edited 11 hours ago
answered 20 hours ago
AlexanderAlexander
3,575412
3,575412
add a comment |
add a comment |
Weave the position in the game into the larger theme of the novel. Don't use square locations like c1 and b1. Instead say something like "I moved my bishop one square and occupied the longest diagonal." or "My King couldn't move; I was checkmated." or "The rook made a lateral move; a blindspot I didn't notice."
New contributor
add a comment |
Weave the position in the game into the larger theme of the novel. Don't use square locations like c1 and b1. Instead say something like "I moved my bishop one square and occupied the longest diagonal." or "My King couldn't move; I was checkmated." or "The rook made a lateral move; a blindspot I didn't notice."
New contributor
add a comment |
Weave the position in the game into the larger theme of the novel. Don't use square locations like c1 and b1. Instead say something like "I moved my bishop one square and occupied the longest diagonal." or "My King couldn't move; I was checkmated." or "The rook made a lateral move; a blindspot I didn't notice."
New contributor
Weave the position in the game into the larger theme of the novel. Don't use square locations like c1 and b1. Instead say something like "I moved my bishop one square and occupied the longest diagonal." or "My King couldn't move; I was checkmated." or "The rook made a lateral move; a blindspot I didn't notice."
New contributor
New contributor
answered 21 hours ago
Bud the studBud the stud
1
1
New contributor
New contributor
add a comment |
add a comment |
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If you want to be evocative, try using the older notation. R to QB1 is still meaningful.
– Rasdashan
Mar 16 at 13:10
3
Would including a diagram showing the position be an option? In any case, do you expect all your readers to be familiar with chess, so is it an important plot point?
– Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
Mar 16 at 14:51
2
I know a certain Harry Potter book has a chess game scene, you could maybe get inspired from that. But that's all I know, maybe this could help you.
– stackzebra
2 days ago
2
2001 A Space Oddessy has chess in it, as well as the novel Forrest Gump. But, to your point, this is probably as much description of a chess game as you'd need. It's enough to convey the strategic nature of chess, but not to much to become boring and distracting to the reader. Don't fall into the trap of trying to show off how smart you want everyone to think you are.
– Issel
2 days ago
2
Have a look at en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Royal_Game (not just the website, the book is quite excellent). Even though there is one chess party that it is quite essential, and it is very well described, it's not to the point where you could reconstruct the game.
– gnasher729
2 days ago